


Before I Met You

by Chizuru_2120



Series: Before I Met You [1]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M, Matsumiya - Freeform, P: Ninomiya Kazunari/Matsumoto Jun, T: Before I Met You, suezu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2020-03-07 19:44:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18879958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chizuru_2120/pseuds/Chizuru_2120
Summary: Jun will never admit he's gay, Nino never knew he's one, and then they met each other.





	1. Sora and Daichi

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta-ed and English isn't my first language.

Nino strums his guitar, trying to find the suitable chords to finish the song. He tries again and again until he gets the right chords. He writes down his composing and lost in his world. After a while, he manages to finish the song and sigh in satisfaction. He then starts playing the song and sing the newly finish song. Too lost in the song, he doesn’t realize when Ohno enters his studio.

“I told you, you should be a singer Nino,” Ohno said as he sits on the chair besides Nino. Nino abruptly ends his singing and face the smiling Ohno.  
“And I told you that I’m not interested Oh-chan. Just left the singing to you okay?”  
“So, this will be my new single?” Ohno asks later while Nino checking the song again.  
“Yes. Why? Doesn’t like it?”  
“Are you crazy? I will always love your song. If not, I will not make you my exclusive composer,” Ohno says and starts humming together with Nino.

“So, how’s your last tour?” Nino hands the singer a cup of coffee which the singer accepts in smile.  
“Great. I enjoy it as usual. Do you know Gackt- san?” Nino nods, remembering the singer that Ohno admired so much.  
“He attended my concert at Tokyo! You don’t know how thrill I am seeing him waving at me,” Ohno says happily and Nino chuckles, seeing the fanboy Ohno in front of him.

While they are talking animatedly, Sho arrived at Nino’s studio with a file and a phone on his ear. A little while later, he hung up the phone and sit tiredly at one of the chair there.

“You okay Sho- chan?” Ohno asks looking at his hardworking manager.  
“Yes, I am. Ah, Nino- chan, they told me to ask you about Ohno’s new single,” Sho looks apologetically at Nino but smile wide later when Nino hands him the finish song.  
“Thanks Nino! You don’t know how miserable I am when they keep asking even though it’s not even the deadline yet,” Sho complaints and then sips the coffee that Nino hands to him.  
“The song is amazing as always Sho- chan! You will love it,” says Ohno and Nino just smiles. Then, they are engrossed in small meeting about Ohno’s new single when Nino’s phone vibrates. Nino checks the caller ID before apologizing to Sho and Ohno, mentioning that he needs to take that call.

“Yes, Ninomiya here, ah, okay, I will be right there immediately,” Nino hung up the phone and immediately grabs his things and put in his shoulder bag.

“Sorry guys, Sora’s teacher call and I need to be there right now,” Nino apologizes as he getting ready to leave.  
“Ah, it’s okay Nino. Sora will always come first right?” Ohno smiles and Sho nods towards him, understand his situation. Nino thanks them and quickly leaves the studio and half run towards the parking lot of the agency building. Once there, he immediately gets into his car and drives towards Arashi Kindergarten, a bit far from his work place.

As he arrived there, Aiba sensei greets him with a wide smile on his face. Nino smile a little back and start looking out for his daughter.  
“What’s wrong sensei? What did Sora do this time?” Nino immediately asks.

“Calm down Ninomiya- san. Let’s go to the office first,” Aiba sensei then guides him towards the familiar office. It’s not the first time Nino was called to the kindergarten because of Sora. When entering the office, his gaze meets with a pair of eyes with a thick eyebrow. Nino sighs, knowing this time Sora had a fight with another child, because he never sees that man before.

“Ninomiya- san, this is Matsumoto Jun- san, Daichi’s father,” Aiba sensei introduces him to the smug looking man. Nino smiles a bit before hand out his hand towards Matsumoto in which Matsumoto just ignores him. Nino feels a boiling heat in him but restrain himself when he feels his daughter besides him. Aiba sensei then invites Nino to sit on the nearest chair there. Nino then places his 6 year old daughter on his lap.

“So, this is the father of the girl that punches my son,” Matsumoto says with his glaring eyes towards Nino. Nino chuckles at his daughter guts to punch a boy this time.  
“I’m sure my daughter has her own reason to do so. Isn’t it Sora- chan?” Nino smirks at the arrogant man in front of him and notices that the man’s son, Daichi is happily licking on his lollipop.

“So, Sora- chan, do you admit that you punch Daichi?” Aiba sensei asks this time, afraid that Nino and Matsumoto will ended up fighting later.  
“Yes, sensei, I punch him,” Sora answers and Nino really admires his daughter for being so brave.  
“May I know why then?” Aiba sensei immediately asks the little girl as he sees that Matsumoto is ready to open his mouth.  
“Daichi tried to kiss me sensei,” Sora says and Nino’s grin spread widely, seeing Matsumoto getting flustered.  
“Is that true Daichi?”  
“Yes, sensei, but I just want to kiss her cheek. She’s so cute,” Daichi pouts innocently and Nino chuckles this time when he sees how angry Matsumoto is.

“You!” Matsumoto stands but Aiba sensei immediately restrains him and manages to make him calm down.  
“I think this is just a small matter right? So, Sora- chan, can you apologize to Daichi?” Aiba sensei kneels besides Sora and Sora nods before go towards Daichi and hand her hands with a smile.  
“Dai- chan, I’m sorry,” Sora apologizes and Daichi smiles, accepting Sora’s hand.  
“I’m sorry too Sora- chan,” Daichi apologizes too. Nino and Aiba smile looking at the kids but Matsumoto tries to ignore them.

After that, Daichi and Sora run back to their class to grab their bags. Nino waits for his daughter at the bench outside the class when Matsumoto walks towards him.

“I hope you will look after your daughter properly after this Ninomiya- san,” Matsumoto warns him and Nino just smiles innocently.  
“I hope you will teach your son how to man up after this Matsumoto- san.”  
“It’s not my fault that your daughter is so barbaric!”

“Don’t insult my daughter okay! She’s just a little harsh, she’s not barbaric, and it’s not my fault either that your son is a weakling!”  
“How dare you!” Matsumoto is ready to launch himself towards Nino when he hears Daichi and Sora’s laugh as they run from the kindergarten towards their fathers.

“Papa! Can we go grab an ice- cream?” Sora hugs his father happily and Nino smiles, nodding his head.  
“Can Dai- chan tag along? I promise him to give him an ice- cream too,” Sora asks in her puppy eyes. Nino chuckles and strokes his daughter’s hair.  
“Only if his father allow,” Nino says and glares at Matsumoto.  
“Daddy! I want to tag along with Sora papa! Sora said I can have an ice- cream too!” Daichi pleads his father whose remains on his stand.  
“Daddy, please!” Daichi pleads again until his father nod.

“Then, let’s go!” Nino says happily and starts walking towards the nearest ice cream stalls with Sora in his right hand and Daichi in his left hand. Matsumoto sighs before starts tailing after the trio.

“Here,” Nino hands the ice cream towards Matsumoto whose sitting on the bench at the park. Sora and Daichi are playing at the playground in front of them with ice cream in hand. Matsumoto just glances at the ice cream. Nino sighs before grabs Matsumoto hand and place the ice cream in his palm and close it around the ice cream. Matsumoto tries to argue but Nino just smiles at him and start licking his own ice cream as he sit besides Matsumoto.

“I hope that ice cream will help to cool you off,” Nino says later when Matsumoto still hasn’t start eating his ice cream. Matsumoto just glare at him.  
“Stop glaring Matsumoto- san. You will just adding the wrinkle on your face.”

“You, how dare you,” Matsumoto tries to retort but go against it when Nino just laughs happily at him.  
“Calm down. Why don’t we just be like the children? They’re easy to forgive each other right?” Nino says and smiles seeing Sora help pushing Daichi on the swing. Matsumoto follows Nino’s line of sight and sighs.

“I guess you’re right. I’m sorry for my behavior,” Matsumoto apologize and this time he hands his hand towards Nino. Nino grins and immediately grabs Matsumoto’s hand. Nino’s smile is so contagious that Matsumoto finds himself smiling too.  
“I’m not properly introducing myself too; I’m Matsumoto Jun. Nice to meet you.”  
“I’m Ninomiya Kazunari, nice to meet you too,” Nino’s smiles gets even wider and Matsumoto’s heart skips a bit.


	2. Perfection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun will never admit he's gay, Nino never knew he's one, and then they met each other.

Nino stirs in his sleep and yawn. He’s still so sleepy yet he needs to get up. He gets a meeting later at the agency. After he sent Sora to her kindergarten this morning, he returns back to sleep as he gets no sleep last night. He was up composing a song all night. It’s not like he needs to finish it for someone or anything but when he gets his inspiration, it’s impossible to stop. Nino finds composing is not just his job but something he loves to do and he’s very passionate about it. Sometimes though when composing get too tiring, he will lose himself in his gaming world, something that will never change since he’s a young boy. He always thought that he will stop doing it when he’s getting older, finds a job and married, but that never happens, he still loves games so much. Luckily for him, he gets the job that he really loves and he can get enough free time for himself. His job is not something that requires his full attention. It’s something like a hobby and he can do his job from home.

After finish bathing, Nino slips into his tight jeans and a simple shirt. He then heads to the kitchen and drink milk from the refrigerator. That will be his breakfast. He is not someone with a heavy appetite. As long as he gets something to fill his stomach, it will do. Nino grabs his jacket and his shoulder bag and heads out. When he locks his door, he meets with his neighbor, an elderly woman with his grandchildren. Nino greets them and bows before makes his way to the elevator.

On his way to the agency, Ohno calls him asking to meet him but Nino says no as he gets an important meeting with the agency. They promise to meet tomorrow instead. Nino arrives at the agency just in time and immediately gets to his work. After the meeting that takes some time, Nino heads to his studio. This place calms him like no other but still the calmest place he can get is when he’s with Sora. Sora is his everything. Someone that matters to him so much and he can never imagine the world without Sora in it. Sora is the main inspiration for his works.

Nino drops his bag and quickly sits on the piano chair there. His chubby fingers run automatically on the keys and like always, Nino lose himself in his world. He just plays any song that comes to him but when his fingers start playing Niji, Nino stops, almost in terror. His breath turns heavy and his chest hurt. He stands immediately and almost falls on his knee. He grips the nearer table and tries to regulate his breathing again. After calming down, Nino goes to the nearest toilet and washes his face. He really shouldn’t play that song ever.

Checking his face on the mirror, Nino wipes any traces of uneasiness in his face and heads back to his studio. Back there, Nino finishes some of his works and when it’s already afternoon, Nino clears his works space and grab his things to put into his bag. He then leaves the studio and heads to Sora’s kindergarten. Today is Friday so it will be half day at the centre. Every Monday to Thursday, Sora will be back in the late afternoon but on Fridays, it will be half day. Sometimes in the weekend when Nino gets work that can’t be done from home, Sora will be at his mother’s. But Nino will be preferred to look after Sora himself and thankfully his job permits that to happen.

As he arrives at the kindergarten, Aiba smiling face greets him. It’s the usual for Aiba sensei to waves his students back and makes sure that his students safely in the hand of their guardian.

“Ninomiya- san, good afternoon!” Nino smiles at the teacher’s enthusiasm. Nino sure, he sees that Aiba sensei almost jumps while greets him. Aiba sensei is really a good teacher and Sora always talks about him and Nino sure other children also are really fond of the cheerful teacher.  
“Good afternoon sensei. How is Sora doing today?”  
“She’s amazing as always Ninomiya- san! She’s done the job of cleaning the rabbit cage very well today.”  
“That’s a good thing to hear. I’m so happy. Where’s she?”  
“Ah, there she is,” Aiba sensei points at the playground.

Nino smiles seeing his daughter plays with Daichi. It seems like Daichi is her best friend now. She never talks about Daichi before. But Nino is thankful. He always worries about Sora lacks of friend. Sora is the child that cheerful but only with the person she fond of. She also prefers to be in her own and she isn’t like some other girl. She is kind of boyish and she doesn’t like any other doll. She prefers to play with ball instead and she really loves baseball. Well it can’t be help since she grows up with his father without her mother figure. Nino just worries that Sora will ended up like him when he was a little boy. He loves to be by himself also and other boys tend to bully him. He hates to fight so he just endures it until he finished school. Nino afraid that Sora will have the same fate as him but he knows Sora is nothing like him. That girl will stand up for herself when needed. Nino was so used to get call to the kindergarten but he knows his daughter just stood herself against the bully but the case if different with Daichi. That boy just wanted to kiss her. Nino chuckles at that and the face of his father with his thick eyebrow comes to him.

“She is really close with Daichi now. I’m glad because she never wants to get friend with other child before,” Aiba sensei’s voice pierce through his thoughts.  
“I’m happy too. I worry a lot about that, but it’s really okay now right?” Nino smiles and bows to Aiba sensei before making his way towards his little angel.  
“Papa!” Sora jumps and Nino kneels to hug her. He strokes Sora hair and smiles towards Daichi whose stands behind Sora.  
“Come on, let’s go home,” Nino cheers and takes Sora’s bag on the bench there.  
“Daichi, your father isn’t here yet?” Nino asks when he notices Daichi seems lost. Daichi just shakes his head and his eyes get wet all of sudden.  
“Hey, don’t cry, we will wait with you okay?” Nino kneels besides the boy and pats his head. Daichi sniffs his nose and tries to stop crying at Nino’s promise.

Nino sits on the bench there and places Daichi besides him. Sora sits besides Daichi and pats his back with a kind of sisterly way.  
“Ah, I understand Matsumoto- san, but I have an important things to do later,” Nino turns at the voice of Aiba sensei. He is talking with someone on the phone and seems like it’s Daichi’s father.

Nino stands and walks towards him. Aiba nods while listening to the person on the phone. At the same time he notices Nino and his eyes seems to light up, maybe something come up.  
“Wait, Matsumoto- san, Ninomiya- san is here. Do you remember? Sora’s father,” Aiba says and listens to the answer.  
“Erm, yeah, okay, wait,” Aiba then hands the phone towards Nino. Nino looks at Aiba sensei and asks silently. “What?”  
Aiba covers the phone before says, “Matsumoto- san has sudden important work and can’t pick Daichi up and I have something after this, so,” Aiba voice trails and Nino understand the situation. He shrugs and picks the phone from Aiba sensei.

“Hello, Matsumoto- san.”  
“Ninomiya- san! I know it’s so sudden but can you please look after Daichi for a while?” Matsumoto says desperately and Nino can hear noisy sounds behind him.  
“I’m free after this and I think I can but do you really believe me to look after him?”  
“Yes, I’ve met you before and I believe Daichi loves to be with Sora and you. He doesn’t stop talking about both of you after last week at the park,” Matsumoto says without hesitation.  
“Okay then, but how you going to fetch up Daichi later?”  
“Just give your phone number and I will contact you later. I will go to anywhere you will be later.”

Nino nods and gives his number to Matsumoto. After a while, he gives the phone back to Aiba sensei.  
“Thanks a lot Ninomiya- san! You really save both of us,” Aiba sensei thanks him and Nino kind of sure that Aiba will hug him in gratitude if they are close enough.  
“Usually, I will be the one to look after the children if something like this happen but today I really can’t. I have something important to attend to. So, you are a really big help.”  
“It’s okay sensei. I will glad to help. As long as he got Matsumoto- san consent,” Nino replies.  
“Sometimes if Matsumoto- san has works Daichi’s grandmother or aunt will come instead but Matsumoto- san told me that both of them are at Okinawa for some relatives wedding,” Aiba sensei adds later.  
“Oh, I see, does Daichi’s mother have work too?”  
“Ah, Matsumoto- san had divorced and since Daichi enrolled here I never see his mother.”  
“Ah, it’s like that. Poor Daichi ne,” Nino says and thinks that Sora is just the same. Nino then bows to Aiba sensei and head towards Daichi and Sora.  
“Dai- chan, you will come with us today before your father gets you. Is that okay with you?”  
“Em,” Daichi nods and cheers with Sora, glad that they get the chance to play some more.

The three of them start making their way after that. They waves at Aiba sensei and Nino guides them to his car. He then brings the two of them to the delicious ramen stall that he frequent go with Ohno and Sho to fill their empty stomach.

After the lunch, Nino brings them to watch the movie at the nearest cinema. Fortunately, there’s a new animation movie that Sora and Daichi are really happy to watch. At the end of the movie though, Daichi fall asleep. Nino lifts the boy and Sora also walks lazily, repeatedly yawn.  
After he places Daichi at the backside of his car, Nino checks his phone, still no call from Matsumoto- san. Nino thinks for a while and decides to just bring Daichi home with him. Matsumoto can just fetch Daichi there and it’s only 7 o’clock in the evening.

They arrived at his apartment later. Daichi is still asleep and Sora helps by carrying their bags. Once there, he places Daichi on Sora’s bed and helps Sora to get in bath. He then clean up the house a little and after making sure Sora properly wears her pajamas, he lets Sora plays the game on his DS. Nino heads to the kitchen later and plans to make a simple dinner for them.

While he’s busy in the kitchen, he hears Sora’s voice calling him and when he turns to her, Sora hands him his ringing phone. Nino wipes his hands on the apron and quickly answers the phone. It is Matsumoto- san. Nino gives him his address and hung up later to return to his cooking. Matsumoto arrives a while later when Nino is serving the simple dinner on the table. Hearing the bells, he goes to open the door for Matsumoto- san.

“Matsumoto- san, please come in, Daichi is still sleeping,” Nino greets the man and Matsumoto bows to him before putting off his shoes to enter the house.  
“I’m really sorry for bothering you like this Ninomiya- san,” Matsumoto says while they’re walking towards Sora’s room.  
“Ah, it’s okay Matsumoto- san. It’s just happened that I was there at the moment you called Aiba sensei.”  
“Still, thanks a lot Ninomiya- san. I don’t know if you aren’t there,” Matsumoto thanks him and Nino just shakes his head, signaling that it’s not a big deal for him to help.  
“Then, I will be making my home. Thanks again,” Matsumoto makes his way to Daichi.  
“Why don’t you eat the dinner here first? I already make the dinner and include both of you in my counting. It’s just a simple dinner though,” Nino suggests and Matsumoto stops on his track.  
“But both of us will be adding more burden to you then,” Matsumoto scratches his head.  
“It’s really okay Matsumoto- san,” Nino assures him and after a while Matsumoto agrees to him. Matsumoto then wakes Daichi up and they start eating their dinner in a whole new atmosphere that never there before in Ninomiya household.

*  
Nino walks with Sora besides him to his studio. Usually Nino is not going to the studio on Saturday but he got a call this morning and he needs to meet up with the president. The meeting may not be long so he brings Sora with him, planning to go to the zoo with her later. Several workers greet him and Sora and one of them give Sora a lollipop. Nino smiles to see Sora brighten up after being drag to her father’s workplace.

Nino then place Sora at his studio. Sora used to go to his studio in the past when the case like this happens and luckily he can brings Sora anytime because of his free working atmosphere. Not many people will enter his studio either so Sora will be fine there. Sora always brings her sketches book and she will lose in her book until Nino comes back later.

After making sure Sora is doing okay, Nino goes straight to the president office. The meeting with the president doesn’t take long as he expected. The president just discussing usual matters with him and other things that needs to be done quickly. After ending the small meeting, Nino heads back to his studio. The morning is still early so it will be perfect to bring Sora to the zoo. When he opens the door and enters the studio, Ohno and Sho are there. Ohno is drawing something in Sora’s sketches book meanwhile Sho is busying himself with his planner.

“Oh- chan! Why are you here?” Nino asks as he place his things from the meeting earlier on his desk.  
“You’re mean Nino- chan! Don’t you remember that I want to see you today?”  
“Eh, are we?”  
“Yes, I called you yesterday!”  
“Ah, I forgot, sorry Oh- chan,” Nino apologizes and smiles seeing Ohno pouting.

“So, what it is that you want to see me?”  
“Here, I want you to look at my composition and give a thought about it,” Ohno hands Nino his composition and Nino accept with delight, happy that Ohno finally give a try to compose his own song.  
“Wah, Oh- chan, this is good! You’re so talented!” Nino praises the older man who turns red at the praising.  
“Well, it’s you also that helping and giving me advice with it. And I need to seriously giving a thought on composing my new song since my composer here will be composing a song for the rising star right?” Ohno teases Nino back, knowing that Nino will be much busier after this since he will be involved in the new project with the rising star of the agency.  
“Don’t be like that Oh- chan! I will always have time for you,” Nino says back.  
“Oh- chan here will always need your composition Nino- chan,” Sho adds later.  
“Well, his own composition here is good too and later I will not needed right?”

“Enough with that topic, what will you be doing after this?” Ohno asks after he finishes drawing an elephant for Sora.  
“I’m thinking to bring Sora to the zoo, why you asking?”  
“Let’s go to the designer with me today,” Ohno invites him.  
“Eh, why? I never went with you.”  
“I promise Sora- chan for a long time already and today seems perfect,” Ohno reasons and pats Sora’s head.  
“Em, okay, is it okay with you Sora?” Nino asks his daughter.  
“Yes! I always want to see a place with a lot of beautiful clothes papa,” Sora says and Nino remembers that his daughter really love clothes and fashion.  
“Okay then, let’s go,” Nino agrees and quickly urges Sora to clean up her sketches book and stationery before grabbing his things also.

They head to the designer place with Ohno’s car. During the journey, Ohno entertains Sora with her questions about the clothes and anything related to fashion while Sho drives safely. Nino takes his time to play a little bit in his DS. After a while later, they arrived at the store and immediately go in before anyone notices the popular singer. The store is empty as they close it for Ohno’s trying session. He’s a designer that always works with Ohno but Nino never sees him in person since their work doesn’t relate with each other.

“Ah, welcome Oh- chan!” a voice greets them and Nino immediately turns towards the now familiar voice and startled to see the one and only Matsumoto Jun. Matsumoto seems surprise also as their gaze meets each other.

“Ninomiya- san! Sora- chan! It’s a big surprise to see you both here,” Matsumoto says later and bows to them.  
“Eh, you two know each other?” Ohno asks and Matsumoto and Nino both nods at the question.  
“Daichi is at the same kindergarten with Sora- chan here,” Matsumoto answers and Ohno oooh him.  
“Still, I need to introduce you both, Nino, this is Matsumoto Jun, the designer I said earlier and Jun, this is Ninomiya Kazunari, the composer I often work with,” Ohno introduces them and both of them smiles at each other.

“Uncle, you work here? Cool!” Sora says and her eyes brighten at the sight of beautiful and colorful clothes in the store.  
“Yes, Sora – chan, do you love clothes?”  
“Erm! I always want to see a place like this.”  
“You are lucky today then,” Matsumoto also smiles looking at the little girl.  
“Uncle, where’s Dai- chan?”  
“He’s at his grandmother house today, since I have a work to do with Ohno- san here.”  
“Ah, I see. Uncle, can I see around the store?”  
“Of course you can dear! Please, be my guest today.”  
“I’m sorry for bothering Matsumoto- san,” Nino apologizes, afraid that he and Sora will be interrupting their work.  
“Ah, it’s totally fine Ninomiya- san. And please call me Jun, you’re Oh- chan friend, so you’re mine too. Furthermore, we already know each other right?”  
“If that’s the case, just call me Nino then.”  
“Okay, Nino, make it home here, you and Sora can see around and I will be entertain our popular artist here,” Jun says and Nino nods before bringing Sora to start looking around the huge store.

Jun is busying himself later with Ohno after making sure his assistant brings them the coffee. Nino and Sora have been wandering around the store and Sora trying out several cute outfits. Sho settles at the chair at the corner with his coffee and newspaper.

After getting Ohno trying out the outfit, Jun making sure that he gets the right measurement for Ohno and also his preference and interest in his outfit. The session with Ohno ends an hour later. Jun then immediately starts cleaning the space he works with Ohno while Ohno joins Nino, Sora and Sho eating the cakes at the corner. His assistant also already brings them the new hot coffee. While Jun folding the unnecessary clothes, he feels a presence besides him and when he turns, Sora greets him with a smile.

“Do you love it here?” Jun asks as Sora settles besides him.  
“I really love it uncle! I love seeing all this cute clothes and trying on them,” Sora runs his hands on the hanging clothes besides her.  
“Then you can come here anytime you want, you will always be welcome!”  
“Really? Thanks uncle!” Sora grins and hugs Jun. Jun feel an overwhelming affection immediately towards the little girl as her tiny hands make way around his neck.  
“Your clothes today are cute. Who chose it for you?” Jun asks after Sora let him from the hug.  
“Thanks, papa chose it for me,” Sora lines up the hem of his dress.  
“Wow, your papa has a really good sense! Does papa always chose for you?”  
“Em, I only have papa and he do everything for me.”  
“Oh, pardon me for asking, your mama isn’t there with you?”  
Sora shakes her head. “I never see mama, I just have papa.”  
“I’m sorry Sora- chan for asking this question,” Jun pats Sora’s back and brings the girl into his hug again.  
“It’s okay uncle. Dai- chan doesn’t have mama too right? So, it’s really okay.”  
“Does Daichi say this to you?” Sora nods.

Jun releases the girl from his hug and follows the little girl gaze towards his father.  
“You really love papa right?”  
“Yes, papa is the only one I need in the world. Papa is everything so it’s okay if mama isn’t here because papa is enough. And Sora loves papa so much!”

Jun smiles hearing the clever little girl answer. Jun later continues doing his job in silence with the little girl helping him a little here and there. As Jun busying himself later, he hears a sudden laugh and automatically he turns towards the men at the corner.

As soon as his gaze meet with the laughing face of Ninomiya, Jun can feels his stomach turning upside down and his heart clench with a foreign feeling. The way Nino throws his head at the back when he laugh, the way his skin wrinkles around his eyes, the way his gum shows when he laugh and the sound of his laugh, Jun immediately fall in love with it.

Nino is perfection.

He is beautiful.

He is glowing.

He is flawless.

He can feel the butterflies in his stomach and Jun immediately recognize the foreign feeling but he refuses to admit it.

‘It can’t be,’ Jun mutters to himself.

‘It’s impossible,’ Jun tries to turn from the still laughing face but fail. The scene brings him to the world that he sure doesn’t have the way out.

After Nino stops laughing, Jun quickly turns from him and wipes his face. He slaps his face, trying to bring himself to reality when he hears the laugh again. Turning again to the source, he finds Nino laughs at something Ohno says. And the bad is the effect he feels is still the same like before.

And Jun can also clearly see the way Ohno looks at Nino mirrors him.

‘Crap,’ Jun curses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I love Jun and Nino bickering to each other, I believe in this setting they are more mature with child. So, see you next time^^


	3. A Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun will never admit he's gay, Nino never knew he's one, and then they met each other.

Nino finishes his recording with the artist today and now heading towards his studio to grabs his things. In the way there, he is stopped by one of the artist’s manager and they discuss a little about the schedule for the next recording. After the little discussion, Nino hurries to his studio and quickly cleans up the studio a bit before leaving with his guitar and shoulder bag. He heads to the parking lot and after loading his things at the back of the car; he climbs up at the driver seat and then drives towards the direction of Matsumoto’s store.

After half an hour, Nino arrives at the store and after parked his car at the nearest parking lot, he walks to the store. It’s already late in the evening so the store is almost empty as he arrived. Nino is greet by one of Matsumoto’s worker and he nods to the worker before heading to the back of the store. Sora is playing a Wii game with Daichi in Matsumoto’s office when Nino arrived.

“Sora- chan,” Nino calls his daughter who turns immediately at him.  
“Papa! You’re here!” Sora grins but her hands still doesn’t let go of her Wii control and immediately returns to her game with Daichi after a brief greeting with her father. Nino smiles and shakes his head at Sora and kisses her head gently.

“Hi Daichi,” Nino greets Daichi and pats his head. Daichi also too focused in his game only smiles at Nino before returns to his game.

“Where’s your daddy Dai- chan?” Nino asks later as he checks his phone while lazily sits at the couch there.  
“Daddy is outside with uncle Toma,” Daichi answers, referring to Matsumoto’s assistant.  
“Okay, finish this game and after that we will be going home okay Sora?”  
“Okay papa.”

Nino smiles and then left to search for Matsumoto. It’s already several months since he knows Matsumoto and looking back at his first encounter with the designer, he can’t believe that they’re already a good friend right now. After their first visit at Matsumoto’s store with Ohno back then, Nino and Sora often going there to shop or just to visit the designer and his son. At first it’s because Nino just wants to bring Sora who really loves to look at the clothes there, eventually the friendship between Nino and Matsumoto grow too. Lately, they’re also helping each other in looking after their child. Like today, Nino got an important work and can’t fetch Sora from the kindergarten, Matsumoto will help and vice versa.

Nino walks through the store and then finds Matsumoto with Toma at the display rack, seriously discussing about the arrangement of the mannequins there. Nino smiles at the sight of hardworking Matsumoto. He really loves to see the side of Matsumoto who really serious in his work. Nino wonders how many side of Matsumoto that he allows to see.

Upon seeing him, Matsumoto smiles and leaves Toma with the mannequins and walks to him. Today, Matsumoto looks so attractive with his jeans, white shirt and vest with his hair bunch up in a tiny ponytail. Not that Matsumoto ever looks unattractive but today at the sight of his exposed neck, Nino find himself stare a lot more and his chest tightened at the sight. He wonders how it is possible that this man is already a father to Daichi.

“Hi Nino,” Jun greets him, snapping him from his little thoughts.  
“Hi Jun- kun. Sorry, I’m a bit late today.”  
“It’s okay, it’s not so busy at the store today,” Jun signs Nino to follows him back to the office.

“Want to grab a dinner after this?” Jun asks as he starts to put his things in his bag.  
“Sure, I’m thinking of asking you too.”  
“Good then, let’s go. Daichi, Sora, come on, clean up,” Jun urges Sora and Daichi who still lost in their games.  
“Eh, you already finish your work?”  
“Em, furthermore, Toma is here to supervise. We will be closing shortly after this after all.”  
“Oh, okay,” Nino nods and then helps Sora and Daichi clean up after the little mess they make in the office.

After that, the four of them leave the store and walks to the nearby ramen stall. Sora and Daichi really loves ramen and they often eat out at the stall. They settle at the stall before ordering their foods.

“Jun- kun, I’m thinking to bring Sora and Dai- chan to the zoo tomorrow.”  
“Ah, what day is tomorrow?”  
“It’s Saturday Jun- kun,” Nino chuckles at the sight of clueless Jun.  
“Saturday… em, okay, I want to go too!”  
“Eh, how about your work?”  
“You worry about my work too much Nino! I don’t have any appointment tomorrow and Toma will be there to look after the store.”  
“Em, okay then, if you said so,” Nino agrees and then begin to slurp the freshly arrived ramen.

“Ah, hot!” Nino screams after his burn tongue.  
“Are you okay?” Jun immediately turns towards him and checks on him.  
“Em, just a little burn.”  
“Papa, you okay?” Sora asks and Nino nods at the little girl.  
“Nino, you have something at the corner of your mouth there,” Jun says later after Nino gulps the water.  
“Where? Here?” Nino wipes the corner of his mouth but Jun shakes his head.

“Not there, wait,” Jun then grabs the tissue and places his hand on Nino’s cheek while the other hand wiping the mess at the corner of Nino’s mouth. The closeness and the gentleness of Jun make Nino blushes. Luckily the stall is a bit dark otherwise Jun will surely notice his red face. Nino hates this side of Jun so much. He hates that Jun is so caring and gentle. This attitude of the man always makes Nino blushes and at lost of what to do. He hates it that Jun manages to make him feels like a 17 year old, and worse he feels like a 17 year old girl. He wonders if Jun is this caring and gentle to anyone, aside from Daichi of course.

“Thanks,” Nino says and then they begin to enjoy their meal.  
*  
The zoo is already crowded by the time the four of them get there. Jun leaves to buy the ticket while Nino and the kids wait for him at the front gate. After getting the ticket, Jun gets back and they enters the zoo.

Daichi and Sora jumps several times looking at the various animals there. Jun smiles to look at both of the kids and also at Nino who is also as excited as the two kids. Looking at the all smiling Nino, Jun can’t help the feeling that always appears when Nino is around. Jun has been trying really hard to push the feeling these several months of knowing Nino. He sure that the feeling will eventually fade as their friendship grow but unfortunately the feeling grow even stronger than the friendship himself. He hates to admit the feeling but he also can’t find the strength to push the feeling away. He also thinks to even avoid Nino but he will find himself searching and longing for Nino when he doesn’t see the man. He really is in a mess but how can he resist Nino when the composer keeps on invading his mind with his cute and adorable self. Like right now, how come he can be so adorable with his excited look while watching the killer whale show? How can this 29 year old father be so cute and adorable than his daughter? It’s all a big mystery to Jun.

“Woah!” Nino exclaims happily as the killer whale make a jump in the water and Jun find himself staring at his cute look.  
‘I’m not gay. I’m not gay. I’m not gay,’ Jun silently chants to himself yet his sight never leaves Nino’s face.

“Jun- kun? Are you okay?” Nino’s question brings Jun to his self again.  
“Em, I’m okay.”  
“Let’s go then, this show is over.”  
“Okay,” Jun nods and immediately holds Daichi hands to leaves the show area with Nino and Sora in tow.

“Jun- kun, go stand there, I will take a picture of you,” Nino commands when they arrive at the monkey cage. Jun who is again lost in his thought just agrees and stands near the monkey cage.

“Smile J,” Nino says and then snaps a picture of Jun and the monkey.  
“Look Jun, you and this monkey are so look alike,” Nino teases, worried that Jun seems lost in his thoughts.  
“Baka, I’m not! You look even more alike than me,” Jun argues and earns the laugh from Daichi and Sora.  
“Yeah, but I have the proof here, look at your picture here,” Nino laughs as he hands Jun the digital camera that shows the picture of Jun and the monkey.  
“Yeah yeah, then you are so alike with a penguin there because you’re so short,” Jun points at the penguin in the mirror cage as they pass by. Nino just laughs at him.  
“I’m not that chubby like that penguin okay?”  
“Okay, then, you is so alike with a dog.”  
“Well, at least I’m cute,” Nino smugly says and Jun lost all his words, ‘Yes, you are cute. Cuter than any dog and cuter than anyone,’ Jun whispers to himself before shuts himself, can’t find in him to argue with Nino anymore.

*  
Nino runs with all his might to his car at the parking lot at the agency. As he arrives there, he throws all his things inside the car and then immediately drives towards Sora’s kindergarten. He is in the middle of composing a new song for Ohno when his phone rings, a call from Aiba sensei. Nino is used to get a call from Aiba sensei but this time, the incident that Sora involves in is a little different. He just got a feeling about that. So after hang up with Aiba sensei, he immediately leaves all his works and hurry to the kindergarten. As he arrived there, he sees a familiar figure going out from the car.

“Jun- kun!” Nino calls the man and he stops on his steps.  
“Nino! You got call too?”  
“Yes, what happened really?”  
“I’m not sure, we better hurry.”

Nino and Jun are greeted by Aiba sensei at the kindergarten’s front door. After the quick greeting, Aiba sensei brings them to the office. As they enter the office, Sora and Daichi are seated there, Daichi is still crying while Sora just sits there, with her teary eyes. Nino knows that his feeling is right. No matter how many fight Sora get involved to, she never cry. She is the kind that hates to cry but today seeing Sora at the verge of crying, Nino immediately kneels in front of Sora and brings her into his arms. Daichi is also being hug by his father. Nino loosens the hug and checks on his daughter. Sora gets a little injury at her elbow, which has been properly patched up maybe by Aiba sensei. Nino looks at Daichi who also has several scratches on his arms.

“You okay dear?” Nino asks his daughter in which Sora just nods and buries herself further in her father’s arms.  
“What happened, Aiba sensei?” Jun asks, standing up and carries Daichi. Daichi seems to have stopped crying and circles his tiny arms around his father’s neck and his face on his father’s shoulder.

“I’m really sorry Matsumoto- san and Ninomiya- san. It all happened during the play time. I’m not sure about what the other children said but then suddenly they pushed Daichi to the ground and when Sora- chan stood up for him, they pushes Sora also. I was busy with a crying child at that time and this maybe sounding just like an excuse, but I’m really sorry for my lack of attention,” Aiba sensei explains and bows, as a sign of his sincere apology towards Nino and Jun.

Nino feels his anger but he doesn’t know to whom he should direct the anger. He senses that Jun feels the same, but somehow, Nino feels like if he got mad at Aiba sensei, nothing will change.

“Just please be more aware next time Aiba sensei,” Jun says and Nino can clearly hears the anger lays in his voice.  
“I’m sorry again,” Aiba sensei bows again.

“It’s okay. Can we bring them home right now?” Nino asks and Aiba sensei just nods, his usually happy face isn’t here anymore.  
“Thanks Aiba sensei,” Nino says kindly, trying to cheer the teacher before carries Sora in his arm, with Sora’s bag on his other hand.

Nino leaves the office with Jun behind him. They walk in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. As they arrive at their car, Nino gives a tasteless smile to Jun.

“See you later Jun.”  
“Later.”

When they arrive at their apartment, Sora is still gloomy. Nino puts his daughter on the bed and wipes her remaining tears. Nino then lies besides his daughter and hugs the little girl. He brushes Sora’s bangs away and kisses her forehead.

“Want to talk to papa?”

Sora shakes her head and circles her tiny arms around Nino’s neck.

“It’s okay. Papa is here.” Nino rubs Sora’s tiny backs and they remains like that for a while. When Nino thinks Sora already feels asleep, he slowly tries to loosen the hug but Sora tightens the hug, keeping her father in place.

“Papa, where is mama?” Sora asks in her tiny voice but the question feels like a thunder to Nino. He feels like a huge rock has been dropped on him.  
“Mama is away Sora- chan. Mama will not be here with us anymore,” Nino feels like chocking to answer her question.  
“Is it bad that Sora doesn’t have a mama?”  
“No, it’s not dear.”  
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell them papa. I said I’m okay with just papa with me, but they keeps bullying me and Daichi because we don’t have a mama,” Sora tells him and looks at her father’s face.  
“I’m sorry Sora- chan. Papa can’t do anything for you,” Nino apologizes and a single tear runs down on his cheek.  
“Papa, please don’t cry, Sora just need papa. Sora doesn’t need mama.” Sora hugs her father back and Nino feels himself being miserable again.

*  
Nino sighs again as he preparing the dinner. Sora is still sleeping, and Nino wants her to get the rest after the incident that happened at the kindergarten today. He already finishes with the main dish and now he is chopping the vegetables. Too lost in his thoughts, his hand is in auto- pilot while chopping the vegetables.

Suddenly the door bell rings making him startles and accidently cut his finger.

“Auch!” Nino screams a little and clumsily grabs the tissue and applies it to his injured finger. He runs to the front door and struggles to open it and he comes to face with the good looking designer.  
“Jun- kun,” Nino greets the taller man.  
“What happened to you?” Jun notices his bloody fingers and immediately grabs his hand and brings him to the kitchen sink. Yeah, he will not be Matsumoto Jun if he doesn’t notices things like this first.

Jun runs Nino’s hand under the water and Nino screams a little at the throbbing pain. Jun shush him and keeps on babbling in worries by reminding Nino to be extra careful. The side of Jun that Nino hates appears and once again Nino wonders if Jun this caring towards other people also. Jun then makes Nino sits on the kitchen stool and lost in his thoughts, Nino can’t hear Jun’s question.

“Ouch!” Nino rubs his head with his non- injury hand and stare questionably to Jun who just smack his head.  
“Serves you right, I have been asking the same question for five times already and you are just sitting there like I’m not here,” Jun scolds him.  
“Sorry, what did you asking?”  
“Where is the first aid kit?”  
“It’s in the bathroom, the first cabinet besides the mirror.”

“Wait here,” Jun says and dashes to the bathroom, and returns later with the first aid kit in his hand. Jun sits in front of him and gently applies the ointment at his hand before patches it up. While Jun doing all these actions, Nino just keeps staring at the taller man and feels his heart clenches with some feelings that he doesn’t want to decipher.

“There, everything okay now,” Jun cleans the rest of the ointment and put it back into the first aid kit.  
“Thanks,” Nino mumbles.

“Next time, be careful,” Jun pats his head before stands to returns the first aid kit to the bathroom. Nino puts his hand on the area on his head that Jun put his hand earlier. This is another thing that Nino hates too about Jun. He hates that Jun can makes him feels like a kid and get away with it. Nino is so sure that if other person to the same thing that Jun does, he will snap. He is 29 and as far as he knows, he is two months older than Jun itself. But he can’t deny that he loves the way Jun acts around him.

“Let me help you with the rest of the dinner,” Jun says as he returns from the bathroom.  
“Ah, its okay, I can do it,” Nino stubbornly says but Jun just makes him sits back on the stool there. Feeling tired to argue, Nino just let Jun continue doing his works, and seeing Jun in the kitchen is another thing that Nino loves to see about Jun. Just like when he’s doing his work, Jun is serious in the kitchen too, not to mention agile, except he got the gentle look on him whenever he’s cooking. The look that Nino believes explains Jun’s self itself.

Nino is busy staring at Jun’s back when suddenly Jun giggles.

“Why are you giggling? Got something wrong in your head?”  
“Nothing,” Jun just shrugs but Nino can see that Jun is still giggling.  
“Tell me,” Nino stands from the stool to stands besides Jun.  
“Not telling.”  
“Jun- kun.”  
“Nino.”

Nino is ready to throw the vegetables to Jun.

“Okay, okay! I will tell you,” Jun giggles and grabs the vegetables from Nino. He puts down the vegetables and then holds Nino non injured hand and stares at it.  
“What?”  
“Your hand looks like hamburger,” Jun plainly says and Nino’s eyes bulges before grabbing the vegetables and throws it at Jun.  
“Ouch!” It lands perfectly on Jun but the taller man just continues laughing.  
“You have known me for a long time already and only now you have the nerve to say that to me?”  
“To be truth, I noticed it a long time ago, but seeing and holding it closely this time, I can clearly make a comparison from it. It really looks like a hamburger.”

Nino just stares at the laughing man.

“And from the chubby feature of it, maybe your hands look alike the penguin right? Short and chubby.”  
“Shut up, or else I will shave your bushy eyebrow.”

Jun just laughs and then continues preparing the table. Meanwhile Nino still stares at his hand.

“Urgh, I hate my hands, it’s so short and ugly,” Nino sighs later.  
“Don’t worry, it’s cute,” Jun assures him and pats his head again. Nino pouts and realizes it’s not a good sign. It’s been long time already that someone can make him pout and be this childish.

“Let’s eat dinner, where’s Sora- chan?”  
“Wait, I will wake her up,” Nino says.  
“Good, or else it will look like I’m the host instead of you.”  
“Yeah, and you just pop up without telling me first.”  
“Sorry, I just have the sudden urge to come here,” Jun says and Nino can see his face turn a bit sad.  
“Ah, where’s Daichi? I forgot to ask because of you were making fun of me.”  
“He’s with my mother.”  
“Em, okay.”

Nino then goes to the bedroom and returns later with Sora besides him.

“J!” Sora lights up seeing Jun and hugs the taller man immediately. J is the nickname that Sora calls Jun. Nino wonders how Sora come up with the nickname but Jun seems fond of it and sometimes Nino finds himself calling Jun with the nicknames also.  
The three of them eat dinner later. Nino is glad that Sora seems to back to her old self. Jun is busy answering her random questions. After dinner, Jun helps them with the dishes while Nino busy helping his daughter to bed. Sora immediately falls asleep, maybe still tired and after drops a kiss on her head, he walks out from the room to find Jun getting ready to go home.

“Going home already?”  
“Em, I can’t keep invading here right?”

Nino walks Jun to the front door.

“Go to sleep, you look tired,” Jun says before grabs his shoes. Nino shakes his head instead and holds Jun’s wrist. Jun looks back at him.  
“Want to grab a drink? I don’t feel like sleeping yet,” Nino says.  
“Are you sure? You look really tired,” Jun looks directly at Nino’s eyes.  
“I don’t think I can sleep tonight,” Nino mumbles his reply but Jun can clearly hears that. He also can clearly understand because he feels the same.

“Okay then,” Jun agrees and drops his shoes back before follows the shorter man to the kitchen. After grabs the beer, they heads to the balcony. They just drink in silence, both lost in thought while staring at the light up city upon them.  
“How’s Daichi?” Nino stops the silence later after finishes his first can.  
“He stops crying after come back from the kindergarten. He seems okay after that and before I come here, he already asleep.”

Nino just nod.

“Sora?” Jun asks later.  
“She cried. She rarely cries and I hate myself that she needs to endure all this,” Nino grits his teeth.

Both of them lost in thoughts again. Nino grabs another can of beer. His tolerance to the alcohol is weak but tonight he just wants to forget everything.

“What happened? I mean with Daichi’s mother?” Nino asks later. He still afraid to ask the question to Jun. This is the topic that they never discuss since they become friends.

“Oh, it’s an arranged wedding. Our family set us up. I just start working at the time and I am not seeing someone and she is nice, so I just agree,” Jun explains and sips on his beer.

“I thought I can love her after the wedding. I thought we can fall in love but no; we aren’t, at least from my side. She’s beautiful and nice but, I don’t know,” Jun rubs his face.

“I thought after Daichi come, I will start loving her, but it’s hopeless. I love Daichi but I can’t bring myself to love her. Urgh, I hate myself,” Jun keeps on his story and Nino just let Jun pours it out.

“I know how disappoint her towards me, how much she endure for me, but one day, after Daichi turns one, she just disappear. I don’t blame her, it’s my entire fault,” Jun sighs again before takes another sips on his beer.

Jun stops his story there and Nino can’t find proper words to say so he just let the silence flow.

“How about you?” Jun asks and its Nino turns to sigh.

“Me and Sora mama, we are childhood friends. We have been friends since in kindergarten and eventually we feel in love. But after Sora comes, I don’t know, the love just fades and we decide that it’s better to go on our way. She left, leaving Sora with me, but I’m glad. I don’t know what to do if Sora isn’t here with me.”

Nino ends his short story and Jun also doesn’t question anything. They let the silence engulfs them again, silently finishes their beer in their own agony.

But somehow, Nino is glad that Jun is there besides him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a composer nor a designer, so their works are purely my imagination, and same goes to the zoo, i never went to the zoo at Japan, so, yeah, sorry for any mistakes, hope you enjoy reading!


	4. Natsumi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun will never admit he's gay, Nino never knew he's one, and then they met each other.

Jun opens his eyes slowly as the sunlight pierce through the slightly open curtains. He sighs at the slight hangover and tries to turn his body only to meet with warmth besides him. Jun’s eyes bulge immediately and he doesn’t know what to think at the sight of Nino besides him.  
Nino is still sleeping soundly and Jun can’t help the feeling of happiness lingers in his heart at the sight of waking up to this adorable face every day.

‘Eh, what did I just thought?’ Jun shakes his head to clear the thoughts.

He tries to remember why does he is here with Nino and then he remember their drinking session last night. Jun rubs his face and turns to Nino again.

The sunlight fall on Nino’s face this time and Jun finds himself chokes at the beauty in front of him. The light brightens up Nino’s face and Jun can clearly see how beautiful the man is. His bangs slightly covering a part of Nino’s face and the slight pout of his makes Jun feels like to kiss him right there and then.

‘What? Kiss?’  
Jun shakes his head again.

‘I need to get up right now,’ Jun thinks and tries to get up from the couch they slept on. He slowly entangles himself from Nino and after succeed, his gaze feel upon Nino again.

‘He’s gorgeous,’ Jun breathes upon seeing the small figure on the couch. The color of Nino’s skin is in contrast with the red couch and the way his slightly bigger shirt reveals his collarbones and the way he tangles his short legs around the pillow and the way his hamburger hands keep round at his chest and the way his mouth slightly open or sometimes turn into a pout are gorgeous.

‘I must be crazy,’ Jun curses himself before dragging his feet and grabs all his belongings and leaves Nino’s apartment for good, before he lose all his self control.

*  
Jun tries to contact Ohno again as he arrives at the agency but fail. He checks on the number again and this time he calls Sho number instead. After several ringing, Sho answers the call.

“Sho- kun,” Jun glad that Sho answer. He is already lost at the agency after the receptionist tells him that Ohno is in the recording.  
“Matsujun, what’s up?”

“I’m at the agency already, but they tell me I can’t enter because Ohno is in the recording.”  
“Did you tell them that you’re bringing Ohno outfit?”  
“Yes, but they says I need to wait here instead.”

“Ah, wait up, I will going down right now,” Sho hung up before Jun can answer him but at least Sho is going to fetch him. Jun remains waiting at the lobby when Sho appears from the elevator behind the receptionist.

“Matsujun, I’m sorry, the security is kind of tight here, come on,” Sho immediately asks him to follow. Jun nods and grabs a hold of Ohno’s outfit before following Sho to the elevator there.  
“Ohno is in the recording with Nino right now,” Sho says as they enter the elevator.  
“Oh,” Jun hates it that only at the sound of Nino’s name manages to turn his heart into chaos.  
“I’m sorry for making you come all the way here,” Sho apologizes as they arrive at the 17th floor.  
“Ah, it’s okay. Ohno says that it’s so sudden that he needs this outfit for the recording after this.”  
“Yes, that’s true. Thanks again Matsujun.”

Jun assures him that it’s okay and continues following Sho walking through the hallway until the end of it. Sho then slowly open the door to the studio that Jun assumes Nino’s. Jun never steps in the agency before. As much as he works with Ohno, usually Toma will be the one who will manage the outfit to the agency or someone from the agency will come. But today, Toma is on the sudden medical leave, Jun is the one that Ohno call to. And although he’s already friend with Nino, he never has any business to go to Nino’s studio after all.

As they enter the studio, Jun feels his breath has been taking away again at the sight of Nino strumming on his guitar. Jun can also hear Nino singing voice. It’s not perfect but it manages to make Jun stun on his feet and his heart in awe at the sight.

Time feels like stopping and the world stop spinning. All Jun can see and hear is Nino. The world seems only having him and Nino. He lost in the world and he’s not really sure of the way to turn back. Only when Sho’s voice enters, Jun snaps from the world and Nino also stop playing. His gaze meets with the most beautiful eyes he ever seen.

“Jun- kun! You’re finally here,” Nino greets him cheerfully and Jun only manages to nod his head.  
“Where’s Satoshi?” Sho asks Nino and only by now that Jun realizes the studio is full with other people also, perhaps the staff that involves in Ohno’s recording.

“He’s at the toilet. We just finished the recording.”  
“Oh, okay, Nino, can you bring Matsujun to lunch after this? I need to bring Oh- chan for the recording at the other studio,” Sho asks and his eyes never leave the schedule on his hand.  
“It’s okay Sho- kun. I will go back to the store after this,” Jun says instead.  
“No, it can’t be, you already come here all the way. I can’t let you just come here for nothing. You need to try the food here, it’s delicious you know,” Sho persuades him.

“Yeah, Sho- chan is right Jun. You rarely come here after all, I want you to see my studio,” adds Nino.  
“Em, okay,” Jun agrees later, as he also doesn’t need at the store right away. And the thought of spending more time with Nino seduces him.  
“Matsujun, you’re here!” Ohno says as soon as he steps in the studio.

“Yeah, and this is your outfit,” Jun hands him the outfit in which Ohno thanks him.  
“Can we go now Satoshi?” Sho asks and Ohno nods.

“Ah, Matsujun, wait,” Ohno says later and then digs on his bag. Then after a while of searching, he hands Jun a card.  
“What is this?”  
“Invitation to my birthday party, make sure you come okay?”  
“Okay, I will try to.”  
“You must come, and you too Nino! Bye!” Ohno waves them and tails behind his manager.

Jun and Nino waves at the singer back until he’s out from the studio. Nino then grabs his guitar and his other belonging.

“Let’s go Jun- kun!”  
“Eh, where?”  
“To the café of course, I’m starving,” Nino holds Jun’s hand and drags him from the studio.  
“Oh, okay,” Jun manages to answer.  
“But before that, let me drop these things at my studio first.”

“Okay,” Jun follows Nino to the other end of the hallway and then into the smaller studio. Jun feels his heart warms at the sight. The studio really feels like Nino. He can clearly see Nino’s existence in every part of the studio. He can picture Nino playing with the entire instrument there.

“You can play all these?” Jun runs his hand on the piano there.  
“Ehm, it will be a trouble if I can’t play it ne.”  
“Play a song for me?”  
“Jun- kun, as much as I want to play for you, you must be forgetting that we need to grab the lunch first.”  
“But,” Jun tries to argue.  
“I will play for you after this. I promise.”

“Okay. Come on,” Jun agrees and this time, he’s the one who drags Nino and then realizes that he doesn’t know where the cafeteria is. Nino chuckles before asks Jun to follow him instead. They arrive at the cafeteria later and Nino buys Jun a bento box that he claims the best at the cafeteria. After getting the drinks, they sit at the table near the corner, away from people. They start eating their bento then.

“Nino, are you going to Ohno’s party?”  
“I’m not sure yet. I’m not usually attends the party you know. I’m not really a sociable person.”  
“Come with me then. It will be awkward for me to go by myself anyway.”  
“Eh, don’t you have someone to accompany you?”  
“No and Ohno invites you too, right? So just go with me.”  
“Okay, but let me think about it first okay? I need to ask my mother to look after Sora after all.”  
“Okay,” Jun grins, happy at the image of going to a party with Nino.  
“Stop grinning J,” Nino chuckles looking at Jun.

They continues eating later and talks about random topics. After finishes their lunch, they heads back to Nino’s studio. Apparently, Jun still hasn’t forgotten about Nino’s promise to play for him and Nino is free after lunch. As they arrive at the studio, Jun points at the piano at the corner, signaling for Nino to play the instrument.

Nino agrees and sits on the chair while Jun making himself comfortable on the couch there. Nino starts running his hands on the keys and plays the first song that come into his mind. He plays smoothly and Jun is fascinated by the image in front of him. Nino plays beautifully with his eyes close and his body moving with the rhythm. Jun can’t tear his eyes away from the chubby fingers that run across the keys.  
Nino loses himself in the music like always and after several songs, his hands automatically play Niji. After playing several notes of the song, Nino’s hands trembles, his body shakes and his forehead wets with sweats. Jun notices this and immediately stands from the couch.

“Nino,” Jun calls him but Nino seems not to hear him and continue playing with his trembling hand.

“Nino,” Jun calls again and walks towards him slowly.

Jun feels the panic with the sight of Nino in front of him. Nino body shakes violently and his face turns pale. Jun’s hand hovers on Nino’s shoulder but hesitates, afraid that Nino will be shock. But then the shaking turns even more violent and Nino’s hands press the keys hardly that his hands turn red.

“Nino!” Jun screams this time and when Nino still doesn’t response to him, Jun wraps his arms around Nino. Nino stops playing but his body still shaking and Jun tighten his hug. When he feels that Nino is less shaking, he continues hugging him, knowing that it manages to calm Nino.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” Jun whispers and Nino turns to bury his face to Jun’s chest and clings to him. Jun continues rubbing Nino’s back and after a while, Nino’s shaking stops altogether. Feeling this, Jun slowly distances himself from Nino to look at his face. Nino’s face is still pale and Jun can see how tense he is.

“I’m sorry Jun, you shouldn’t see that at all.”  
“It’s fine; the most important thing is are you okay?”  
“Yes, I’m fine. Thanks Jun.”

Nino leaves Jun side and stands to drink a cup of water. Jun eyes him carefully, his head full with questions. But Jun doesn’t want to push Nino when he clearly still tense from it.

“Nino, if anything, you can talk to me okay?”  
“I know, thanks again Jun.”

Nino tone indicates that it’s the end of discussion and Jun finds himself in an awkward situation. He also still having a slight fear seeing Nino likes that.

“Err, Nino, I’m going back to the store okay?”  
“Okay, let me walk you to the lobby.”  
“Eh, it’s okay. Just take a rest okay.”  
“No, let me walk you there. I need to catch a breath too.”  
“If that’s the case, okay, let me grab my things.”

After leaving the agency and back at the store, Jun can’t stop thinking about Nino at all. It seems like there’s something more about him than what Jun already seeing. Jun hopes that whatever his past is, Nino will be happy, to smile his true smile and laugh earnestly. Strangely enough, Jun wants to be the part of his happiness.

*  
It’s been a week after the incident at Nino’s studio and Jun hardly seeing him or Sora during the time. Today is Ohno birthday party and Jun hopes that Nino will still be going with him. Jun is already preparing his suit and this evening he will send Daichi to his mother’s.  
During lunch time, Jun grabs his phone and dial Nino’s number but Nino doesn’t pick it up. Jun sighs and continues munching his lunch when his phone rings. Jun immediately checks on the caller id to find Nino’s phone numbers flashing on the screen.

“Jun- kun, what’s up? Sorry, I am just having lunch with Oh- chan just now.”

Jun smiles at Nino’s voice but feels something close to jealousy imagining Nino having lunch with Ohno.

“Ah, I want to ask about Ohno’s birthday party tonight. Are you still going with me?”  
“Sure, are we going together from the house or just meeting there?”  
“I can fetch you from your house if you want.”  
“Is it not a burden to you?  
“It’s not; your house is on the way there after all.”

“Okay then. At what time you will be coming?”  
“I will be coming at 8. Is that okay to you?”  
“Em, it’s perfect. See you tonight then.”  
“Okay, see you later.”

Jun feels like an idiot grinning alone in his office after his phone call with Nino. No matter how much he denies of his attraction towards Nino and trying convincing that he’s not gay, he finds himself always trying to get near the composer instead. He must be crazy then.  
Ten minutes before 8 that night, Jun is already ringing Nino’s apartment bell. After a while, the door opens, revealing Nino in his suit and Jun finds him breathless. Nino is gorgeous. He usually sees Nino with his simple clothes. He almost always with just a jeans and t- shirt, but he is even more good looking dressing up in suit.

“Jun- kun? Want to come in?”  
“Ah, it’s okay. Are you ready to go?”  
“I’m ready. Let’s go then. Wait a moment, let me grab my phone.”

“Okay,” Jun manages to calm down later when Nino disappears to take his phone inside. Jun immediately checks his appearance again and makes sure that he’s also looking good. After a while, Nino come back and locks his door before them making their way to Jun’s car.

During the journey, Nino do almost all the talking and Jun trying his best not to stare at him. Jun is still wondering about Nino after the incident at the studio but seeing Nino in his smile again, Jun ignores the tingling curiosity in him. They arrive 20 minutes later and the party isn’t start yet until 8.30. They show their invitation card at the front door and immediately allow entering. The hall is almost full with celebrities, reporters and acquaintances. They notice Sho immediately at the centre of the hall, talking with several businesses looking man.

“Jun, is this okay? I feel like going back already,” Nino mutters after they grab the drink that being offered by the waiters there.  
“It’s okay; you need to socialize more okay? Isn’t all these people are the one that you familiar with?”  
“Yes, but I know because of work. What should I say other than work then?”  
“Hey, no need to worry so much. I’m here okay?”  
“Erm, okay.”

They drink in silence then and after a while; Sho comes to them to chat up a little. Sho also introducing them to several peoples there and with Jun helps, Nino finds himself relaxing more.

“Nino- chan! Matsujun! You came!” Ohno greets them cheerfully.  
“Oh- chan! Happy birthday!” Nino wishes him and hugs the birthday man.  
“Happy birthday Ohno,” Jun wishes him too after Nino loosens the hug.  
“Thanks for coming. You really made my day.”  
“Thanks for the invite too.”

“Nino- chan, can you come over a bit? I want to show something to you,” Ohno says and his smile is so binding that Jun feels like grabbing Nino and kidnap him away from Ohno.  
“Ah, Jun- kun?” Nino hesitates and looks at Jun.  
“It’s okay, I will wait for you here,” Jun assures him although his heart grumbles.

“I will be coming back J,” Nino says and Jun wants to believe that Nino really looks apologetic right now. Jun continues drinking and isn’t in the mood to socialize anymore. He usually the type of person who knows how to socialize with people but after Nino being taken away from him, he just lose interest in the party. Jun is on his third drink when Nino comes back later and Jun feels energetic again. They mingle with other people too and Jun really amazes at the amount of celebrities and other people who knows Nino. Clearly, he is among the best composer that people loves to work with. Jun recognizes several people too but he is still new in designing the clothes for the celebrities.

In the middle of talking to several people that he knows, he notices that Nino isn’t besides him anymore. Jun ignores the emptiness that starts to fill him again. He keeps on chatting with the people there, assuming that Nino is with Ohno again. Jun manages to forget that when he involves in discussing an interesting issues with a group of people there. He really enjoys himself this time when suddenly someone comes from behind him and grabs on his wrist.

“Jun- kun, can we going back now?” Nino’s voice seems sad and hurt. Jun turns towards him and see for real that Nino is sad. Nino keeps his gaze on the floor and Jun never sees him looking so small and fragile.

“What it is Nino?”  
“Nothing, just bring me back please.”

“Okay, come,” Jun wraps his hand on Nino’s and slowly making their way from the crowd. Again, Jun has so many questions but he doesn’t want to hurt Nino more. They keeps making their way to the door and Jun keeps on shielding Nino teary face behind him, try to avoid facing any people on the way out. They manage to make it out from the hall and Jun never let go of their hands. As they making their way from the hall to the parking lot, a voice stops them and Jun immediately feels that Nino shivers.

“Nino- kun, wait!”  
“Jun, just keep walking please,” Nino pleads and Jun nods, keep on walking with Nino besides him.

They almost arrive at Jun’s car when they are being stop again with a hand grabbing Nino’s free hand and almost immediately Nino snaps his hand free from the person’s hold.

“Wait, I said!” the voice seems mad this time and Jun dares himself to turn towards the person but Nino remains on his stand, his gaze never leave the ground.

“Who are you?” Jun asks the person. She is a beautiful person with a bright eyes and Jun’s mind having a suspicion but he tries to deny the suspicion.

“Jun, let’s go, please,” Nino says and silently pleading with his eyes looking at Jun. Jun nods and tries to walk again when the woman talks again.

“Nino- kun, just wait, please.”

Nino’s shivers never stop and Jun glares at the person, trying to give his best deadly stare.

“I’m Natsumi. I’m Nino’s ex- wife,” the woman says this time, focusing on Jun.

Jun knows his suspicion is true. Jun knows, and his inner self tells him to just grab Nino and keep him away as far as he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a lot of Nino's suffering here. I love to torture him in my fics although he's my bias. Well, I will torture him in more to come. Tell me what you think about this chapter^^


	5. Sora

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun will never admit he's gay, Nino never knew he's one, and then they met each other.

“I’m Natsumi. I’m Nino’s ex- wife,” the woman says this time, focusing on Jun.

Jun knows his suspicion is true. Jun knows, and his inner self tells him to just grab Nino and keep him away as far as he can.

“I’m sorry Natsumi- san, but we really need to go now, sorry,” Jun says and ignores her another attempt by grabbing Nino’s hand again. Jun guides Nino to the car and then drives off from the place. Nino is silence and his sight focusing the outside of the car. Jun tries his best to avoid for asking any question. He is beyond curious right now but he doesn’t want to probe into Nino’s personal issues. Not to mention how sad Nino is right now.

“Jun, can you drop me off at my mother’s? I don’t think I can be alone tonight,” Nino says after a while.

“Sure, just tell me your mom address then,” Jun nods and then drives to the said address by Nino. Nino’s mother house isn’t so far away from Nino’s house and after a while they arrived.

“Thanks a lot Jun- kun,” Nino smiles and Jun hates that the smile that isn’t his true smile.

“I’m sorry though, it became like this.”

“It’s okay, it isn’t your fault. Thanks for not asking too.”

“Just know I will always here if you need me, Nino.”

“Okay, good night J,” Nino smiles once more before steps out from Jun’s car and when he arrives at the door, he turns to Jun and waves. Jun waves back and after making sure Nino already enters the house, he drives off.

*

Nino ties Sora’s hair neatly and smiles when Sora thanks him. Nino’s mother hands her the packed lunch and drops a kiss on Sora’s head. Nino thanks his mother and then holds Sora’s hand before leaving his mother’s house. They walk to the nearest train station to get to Sora’s kindergarten. They arrive not so long after and Nino feels a weird feeling to let Sora go.

“Papa, bye!” Sora kisses him before runs to into the kindergarten. Nino manages to grab her and hug her tight. Sora tries to question his papa but Nino just tightens the hug. After a while, Nino loosens the hug and kisses her forehead.

“Papa loves Sora so much.”

“Sora knows, papa.”

“Papa wants Sora remember that, okay?”

“Papa is weird today,” Sora chuckles before kisses his father’s cheek and then waves his papa good bye. Nino sighs and waves back before leaving the kindergarten. He then takes a train back to his house as he needs to get his car to work. When he arrives, he still get some time before the meeting. Nino tries to get some sleep but fail. He gets up, eats his breakfast and then leaves the house to his studio.

Nino tries to busy himself to avoid thinking about the small incident last night but he can’t. He can’t do his work properly and even when he tried, he ended up messing everything. Nino sighs and then trying to calm himself, he grabs his DS and starts playing the game. After a while, his phone rings. Nino stops his game and after checking the caller id, he answers the call.

“Nino, let’s grab a lunch,” Jun’s cheerful voice greets him, making Nino smiles.

“Ah, it’s already afternoon, I don’t notice it. Where are we going to have a lunch?”

“You choose okay, because I’m already at your agency lobby.”

“Really? Okay, wait for a while; I will be going down right now.”

“Okay, see you later.”

Nino immediately grabs his things later and then leaves his studio to meet Jun at the lobby. The elevator is full of people since it’s already a lunch time but Nino manages to slip his way. At the lobby, he sees Jun is reading a magazine at the waiting place.

“Jun- kun,” Nino calls the taller man and Jun turns to him, smiling his kind smile that secretly manages to make Nino’s day a lot better. They leave the agency then and heads to Jun’s recommended eating place. The place is really nice and not so far away from the agency. It’s not like a fancy and expensive restaurant that Nino hates the most. It’s a simple place with a comfortable and homey feel and their hamburger steak is the best.

Nino manages to eat a little much more than usual and he really enjoys talking to Jun about everything and nothing. After finishes their lunch, they heads back to the agency. Nino tells Jun that its okay for him to return to his shop but Jun insists to walk with him. Jun also says that he wants to go to Nino studio again.

As they enter the lobby, Nino freezes on his steps at the sight in front of him. The woman walks to them immediately after he notices them entering the building.

“What are you doing here?” Nino finds his voice trembles but feeling Jun’s presence behind him manages to calm him down.

“Nino, please let me see Sora,” Natsumi says but Nino quickly shakes his head.

“No, stay away from her. That the only thing I plead you.”

“But Nino, I miss her!”

“Yeah? Then where are you in all these years?”

“Please, I need to see her.”

“Just go Natsumi. Don’t come here again. Don’t search for me or Sora anymore,” Nino says firmly and he gazes directly to his ex- wife, indicating that he’s being serious. Natsumi glares back but Nino just turns from her to walk to the elevator.

“You will regret this,” Natsumi warns and huffs before turns and stomping her way away from the agency.

Nino sighs and relives that they aren’t making a scene here.

“You okay?” Jun asks cautiously, afraid that he’s probing too much on Nino.

“I’m fine, thanks Jun- kun,” Nino smiles.

“So, still inviting me to your studio now?”

“Yeah, come on,” Nino really glad that Jun is there with him and he wonder why. He ignores that as they ride the elevator to his studio. Jun tells Nino to just do his work and he just want to hang out there since he’s so boring right now. His shop is being perfectly well manages by Toma. Somehow Nino gets the idea that Jun wants to make sure he is okay.

Nino tries to immerse in his work yet fails to do so. Natsumi’s face and words keep on appears in his mind. Nino tries to control not to show his uneasiness in front of Jun. There’s something wrong about the way Natsumi warned him before.

‘You will regret this.’ Natsumi’s voice echoes in his mind. It keeps repeating in his mind and it’s making his uneasiness growing even more. Then, something clicks in him.

“Sora,” Nino mutters before immediately stands and grabs his things.

“Jun, Sora,” Nino turns to Jun and sees Jun is confusing over it yet he nods and then follows Nino to leave the studio.

When they arrive at the kindergarten, children are at the playground. Nino and Jun quickly leaves the car and dash into the kindergarten. Jun spots his son almost immediately, playing alone with the sand at the corner. The sight makes Nino feels like dying right there and then, because Sora always play with Daichi.

“Dai- chan, where is Sora- chan?” Jun asks his son as Nino go to the Aiba sensei.

“She is going to the toilet. Papa, why are you here? School isn’t over yet.”

“There’s something I need to do,” Jun pats his son before joining Nino with Aiba sensei.

“Nino, where is she?”

“Aiba sensei said she’s going to the toilet with her friend, Nana- chan.”

“Oh, okay,” Jun tries to calm down yet seeing Nino fidgeting, Jun feels like it too.

Nino feels like fainting then when Aiba sensei runs to them with Nana- chan in tow, yet Sora is no where behind them.

“Ninomiya- san! It’s terrible! Sora- chan is not in the toilet!”

“What!” Nino feels his knees wobbles, his head spinning and then his sight black out. He feels like his body going to crash down on the ground but he feels strong hands manages to grab him and Jun’s faint voice calling for him.

‘Sora,’ Nino mumbles before completely faint.


	6. Just A Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is just a friend.

Jun stares at the vulnerable figure in front of him. It’s been almost half an hour since Nino fainted after knowing Sora is missing. Jun hates it. Jun hates it that Nino needs to face all this. He hates looking at Nino so hurt yet trying to be strong. Jun hates that he can’t protect Nino at all. Jun stills remember the image of Nino when he played the piano from before. It seems like the song that Nino played at that time bearing a really painful memory to him.

‘What had you been through hm?’ Jun whispers as he runs his hand through Nino’s hair lightly.

Nino stirs and Jun immediately straightens his body and leans up to the smaller man.

“Nino, are you okay?” Jun asks gently as Nino eyes flutters open, revealing the most beautiful eyes Jun ever seen; and Jun really hates the fact that the eyes isn’t shine brightly.

“Jun, where is this?”

“It’s the kindergarten sick bay,” Jun helps Nino to sit up and when hearing Jun’s answer, Nino’s eyes widen.

“Sora! Jun, where is she?” Nino gets panic again and abruptly tries to stand. Jun restrains him and grips on Nino’s hand.

“Jun, let go of me! I need to find her!” Nino struggles but Jun tightens his grip and he leans half of his body on Nino to prevent him from launching forward.

“Nino, calm down please.”

“Jun please, I need to go!”

“Nino, look at me!” Jun places his free hand on Nino’s cheek, forcing the man to look at him. Nino halts on his movement and Jun makes him sits back on the bed. Jun sits in front of him and holds Nino hands.

“Listen okay?” Jun says gently and relieves when Nino nods.

“Sora,” Jun breaths in deeply before continues, “Sora isn’t here, she is missing,” Jun tightens his hold on Nino’s hands when he feels like Nino is going to panic again.

“But Aiba sensei said, before we came, there is one woman who came to visit, saying that she wanted to look around the kindergarten before enroll her child here,” Jun explains clearly and Nino just stares at him, trying to process the information.

“So, Minami sensei brought her to look around the kindergarten. She said the woman already left before Sora’s class started playing at the kindergarten, but you understand right? This woman might be the one who took Sora away. What do you think?”

“It must be Natsumi,” Nino grits his teeth and Jun can feels Nino’s trembling hands in his.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, who else want to do things like that to Sora?”

“Okay then, I wants you to think clearly, do you have any idea where we can get Natsumi and bring Sora back?”

Jun waits when Nino is deep in his thought and then the smaller man suddenly stands.

“We can try her agency,” Nino says determinedly and Jun nods before guiding him to leave the sick bay to the front door. Nino seems at lost when he is at the front door but Jun helps him to hop in Jun’s car. Perhaps Nino already forgot that he came here before with Jun.

“Jun, I can go by myself okay?” Nino says suddenly when Jun enters at the driver’s seat.

“Its okay, it’s better if we are going together instead of you alone.”

“But you have Daichi,” Nino looks around, perhaps only now that he realizes Daichi isn’t here.

“My mother already took him earlier when you are in the sick bay. Don’t worry, I already explained the situation to him and to my mother,” Jun chuckles and smiles at Nino, trying to ease the man.

“Oh, okay,” Nino nods and Jun is worried seeing him at lost like that.

Jun just starts the engine when there’s a knock on his window. Jun startles and turns to see Aiba sensei breathing heavily, perhaps from running here. Jun rolls down the window to him.

“Matsumoto- san! Ninomiya- san! Let me go with you! I want to help find Sora- chan too!” Aiba sensei says in hurry and looks at Nino mostly. Jun glances at Nino yet the man just keep silence.

“It’s okay Aiba sensei,” Jun answers when Nino keeps staring at one place.

“Please! I insist!” Aiba sensei says determinedly and Jun sighs later.

“Just get in the car Aiba- san,” Nino says when Jun just opening his mouth to speak.

“Thanks!” Aiba sensei bows and immediately enters the car at the seat behind Jun.

Jun drives them to the said address given by Nino. It is an agency just like the one Nino work with, an entertainment agency. Jun links that maybe that’s the reason Natsumi was at the same party before. They arrive after half an hour, since the road is a bit busy at the time. As they park the car, Jun and Aiba sensei immediately climb down from the car. Jun notices that Nino is still in his seat and he is trembling. Jun runs to his side and opens the car door.

“Nino, come,” Jun says gently and pats Nino’s shoulder. Nino turns to Jun and stares into his eyes. Jun notices the mix feelings there. One that Jun can recognize is fear.

“It’s going to be okay. Come,” Jun smiles and circles his hand on Nino’s wrist, slowly tugging him. Nino nods and follows Jun to climb down from the car. They walk to the waiting Aiba sensei and enter the building. As they arrive at the counter at the lobby, Jun takes the task to ask the receptionist after asking Nino Natsumi’s full name.

“Excuse me, can we see Abe Natsumi- san?”

“Ah, it’s already past 5, I think Natsumi- san already leaving.”

“Can you check for us, please?”

“Do you have an appointment with her?”

“No, but please, this is urgent,” Jun keeps on his face to convince the receptionist. He keeps on his gaze until the receptionist sighs and nods.

“Please wait for a moment,” Jun nods and the receptionist grabs on his phone and dials the numbers. She talks for a little bit before place the phone on its place.

“I’m sorry, but Natsumi- san is already leaving.”

“Ah, is that so? Can we possibly have her address or something?”

“I’m sorry, that I can’t do. I’m sorry,” the receptionist smiles and nods to them, indicating that she can’t entertain them anymore. Jun sighs and turns to Nino and Aiba sensei.

“So, what are we going to do?” Aiba sensei asks carefully, being caution of the still blank Nino.

“I think we can try to her mother’s house. I hope she is still leaving there,” Nino says suddenly and he seems better now. Jun nods and they walk back to the parking lot.

Natsumi’s mother house takes another 20 minutes to go. Jun notices Nino seems calmer now although sometimes he keeps on fidgeting on his seat. Jun keeps asking to Aiba sensei if he wants to go home already yet Aiba sensei refuse, saying that he can’t keep calm without knowing about Sora’s whereabouts.

Jun accompanies Nino to ring the bell of the huge house. Aiba sensei waits in the car but keeps on glancing at them, trying to fight the urge to join them. He needs to stay in the car like Jun orders him to. Jun calmly waits but Nino seems nervous and Jun hopes that the slight shiver he sees from Nino is because of the coldness of the air at the moment.

The door being open several minutes later to reveal a tiny woman with grey hairs. She seems a bit surprise to see them, especially Nino but smiles warmly later.

“Kazunari- kun, it’s nice to see you again,” she greets them and kindly widens the door, signaling them to enter the house. Jun glances at Nino who seems hesitate and declines her offer, telling her that it will not be long for them.

“Well, what can I do for you?”

“Is Natsumi here?” Jun is a bit startle at Nino’s sudden question but he can see how anxious Nino is.

“No, she isn’t. She just come home when she feel like it. What happened? Did she do something to you again Kazunari- kun?”

“No,” Nino answers almost immediately and several moments later he adds, “It’s Sora.”

“What happened to Sora- chan?”

“I think she got Sora with her,” Nino answers carefully, perhaps doesn’t want to sound accusing. Jun can understand that. Natsumi’s mother seems like a good person. The problem may lies with the daughter only after all.

“What?” Natsumi’s mother seems really shock at that and then she bows her head down to Nino.

“I’m really sorry Kazunari- kun. It seems like she’s hurting you again,” Natsumi’s mother says in her shame but Nino just smiles and shrugs her off.

“If it’s possible, can I have her address?” Jun feels a bit relieves seeing how compose Nino right now compare from before and he figures that he really had a good ties with Natsumi’s mother back then.

“Yes, wait here for a little bit, I will write it down for you,” the kind lady says before disappearing into the house. She comes back later and hands Nino the address. Nino smiles gratefully at her.

“Thanks a lot, Naoko- san,” Nino thanks her, and Jun sees that she turns rigid, perhaps at the way Nino calls her but smiles kindly again later.

“I’m sorry again Kazunari- kun. For the way Natsumi is to you,” she bows again and then Nino excuses both of them to go back to the car. Jun starts the engine again and Nino hands him the address. Jun has so many questions in his but decides that the most important thing right now is to go to the address.

They arrive 20 minutes later. It is a slightly small house but it is a bit similar with Natsumi’s mother house from before. This time, Jun lets Nino goes by himself while he waits with Aiba sensei in the car.

*

Nino keeps on ringing the bell. He knows Natsumi will not open the door, knowing Nino’s arrival but he is startles when Natsumi opens the door harshly.

“What do you want?” Natsumi asks in her harsh tone and Nino feels something in him fires up with anger.

“Where’s Sora?” Nino’s voice is firm and he glares straight to her.

“She isn’t here.”

“I know she is here. Give her back to me.”

“Like I said she isn’t here. Don’t blame me if you don’t know where’s your daughter is.”

“Where is she?! Sora!” Nino yells into the house. Natsumi immediately closes the door in his face.

“Give her back!” Nino yells and knocks repeatedly on her door; not caring if he will notices the neighbors’.

“I don’t have her! Don’t disturb me!” Natsumi yells back from the inside.

“Please, give her back!” Nino pleads, and tears start to form in his eyes, but he restrains them, not going to appear weak in front of her. Nino keeps on knocking and yelling but Natsumi remains silent. Nino falls on his knees in front of the door, feeling his voice worn out. He keeps on knocking and the tears fall freely this time.

Nino feels how pathetic he is and he feels like his heart being rips out severely. Then a gentle arms wraps him from behind and slowly helps him to stand on his feet.

“Come, Nino.”

“But, Jun, she, I,” Nino stutter and tries to protest when Jun drags him from the house.

“Shh, we will come again. For now, we are going back, you need a rest.”

“No! I just need Sora! Please, Jun, I need her,” Nino turns to Jun and pleads to him.

“I know, I know. I promise you, we will get her back, okay?” Jun cups Nino face, trying to calm him and like a spell, Nino stops protesting and just let Jun drags him back to the car.

The way back is deadly silence. They drop Aiba sensei at the train station before head back to Nino’s place. Nino seems like a corpse, walking lifelessly into his house. Jun helps him and makes sure that Nino is secure. Nino falls on the couch and curls like a fetus. Jun drops on his knees besides him and strokes his hair gently. Nino closes his eyes and trembles again.

“Nino,” Jun calls but Nino buries his face deeper into the couch.

“Sorry, Jun, can you leave me alone?”

Jun wants to protest. Jun wants to stay with him. Jun wants to make sure Nino is okay. Jun is afraid that something will happen when he leaves. Jun wants to hugs him and makes him feel at ease from all his misery.

But when Nino opens his eyes, silently pleading him with his weak eyes, Jun finds himself retreating from his feeling. He collects his things and leaves Nino, admitting his defeat. In the car, he punches the steering so hard that his knuckles turn red.

What does he expects anyway? He is nothing for Nino. He is just Jun.


	7. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun is in the middle of wearing his shoes when the bell rings. Jun stands abruptly and turns to Nino. Nino seems oblivious. Jun opens the door. He gasps at the sight.

Jun keeps on his busy mind, not realizing that he has been scribbling on his note pad. He sighs for another time, earning the attention from Toma not far from him.

“If you miss him that much, just go and see him,” Toma says, snapping Jun from his deep thoughts.

“Em, what?” Jun turns to his assistant.

“If you miss Nino, why don’t you just go to him?”

“What? Who says about missing him?”

“It’s just you have been out of your mind these days and it’s been two or three days since Nino and Sora- chan came here, I kind of missing that little girl already,” Toma hangs the clothes and doesn’t notice the misery that begins clouding Jun even more.

“Oh…” Jun manages a weak response. He does thinking about Nino, a lot. And of course Sora too. He wonders if Nino already got Sora back. He really wants to see them, to see Nino but he knows Nino doesn’t want him to be there. He is not important in Nino’s life.

“Isn’t it the time already?” Toma’s voice once again brings him to the reality.

“What time?”

Toma chuckles and says, “You’re thinking about Nino too much that you even forgot to pick your son from kindergarten already.”

“Eh? Crap, I’m going to be late!” Jun jumps on his feet after checking on time.

“And I’m not thinking about Nino!” Jun shouts as he almost out from the store, making Toma chuckles again.

“You’re a terrible liar!” Toma shouts back at him, not minding if Jun can’t hear him before returns to his works.

*

“Why are you so sad?” Jun asks his son as soon as he picks him from the kindergarten.

“Sora- chan doesn’t come to school again,” Daichi sobs. Jun immediately brings him to his arm. Jun wishes he is a child again, so he can cry honestly about his feeling right now.

“Daddy…”

“Hm?”

“Does Sora hates me?”

“Eh? Of course not.”

“She doesn’t come to school anymore because she doesn’t want to play with me anymore right?”

“Hey, it’s not like that, I’m sure. Okay?”

“Then, why…”

“Sora- chan has her own reason for not coming. I promise you that.”

“Really?”

“Really. Now let’s get some ice- cream.”

“I don’t want that! Sora- chan and Sora papa are not here!” Daichi sobs harder this time. Jun feels something tugging so hard at his heart. He hates this. He hates to see Daichi crying and he hates that he can’t do anything about it. It just reminds him that he is not a perfect father for his son.

*

Jun parks his car in front of the building. Looking at the building makes his determination from before disappear.

“Maybe I shouldn’t come here at all,” he sighs and rubs his face.

Jun stares at the building again before sets up his mind again and leaves the car to walk to the building. He hesitates again at the front door and keeps on pacing there before notices the weird look from the guard there. Jun backs on his feet again before walking to the elevator. He arrives at the floor later and walks slowly to the front door.

Jun takes a deep breath before ringing the bell. He waits nervously. No answer. He knocks this time but still no answer. He rings the bell once again, just in case. But clearly Nino isn’t home. Jun sighs in relieves and also disappointment.

Jun was at Nino office earlier, after dropping Daichi at his mother. If Nino isn’t here too, there is only one possible place then. Jun walks away and goes back to his car. Once there, he tries to remember Natsumi’s address from before and after a while, he drives his car away.

*

Jun was right. As soon as he arrives, he sees Nino arguing with Natsumi. Jun’s heart clenches at the sight. He can see how much Nino trying to keep him from crying. He can see how much Nino is trembling. How his back shows just how much he needs to bear. Jun can’t stand it anymore.

Natsumi slams the door on Nino’s face as Jun climbs down his car. Nino keeps on knocking repeatedly before falls on his feet. Jun runs to him and immediately hugs him.

“Jun?”

“Come.”

“I don’t want to! I need to have Sora back!” Nino struggles from his hug but Jun just tightens his hug and stubbornly drags Nino.

“Jun, let me go!”

“Nino! Please, calm down okay, you will get Sora back. Just right now you need to go back first.”

“Jun, please! Let me go!”

“Nino, you can’t show her yourself like this. Natsumi will win then!”

“But, I…”

“Please, come with me.”

Jun walks Nino then when he doesn’t argue more with Jun.

“How you come here?” Jun asks when they are in Jun’s car.

“Train, I can’t trust myself to drive.”

Jun nods before starts the engine and drives to Nino’s house.

*

“You okay?” Jun asks after Nino sips on the drink that he gave earlier. Nino just nods. Jun sits on the couch in front of Nino and eyes the gloomy house.

“How long you not eating?” Jun asks gently, doesn’t want to stress Nino on it.

“I’m not hungry.”

“You haven’t slept either right?”

“I’m not sleepy.”

Jun stops then. He is afraid that he is just tensing Nino with his questions.

“Let me make something. Can I use your kitchen?”

“I can’t promise I will be eating though.”

“It’s okay. Get some rest now while I make something for you.”

Nino just hums before closes his eyes and lies down on the couch.

*

Jun is chopping the vegetables when he hears faints sound from the living room. He stops his work and wipes his hands before walks to the living room. There, he finds Nino on the bench in front of the piano. Jun’s heart tightens seeing single tears run down Nino’s face.

Jun walks slowly to Nino, and immediately worries clouds his mind when he realizes the song that Nino’s play. Jun panics now, remembering Nino’s broke down when playing that song in the studio from before.

His worries turn real when Nino suddenly slams on the piano keys and his body shivers violently. Sweats run down on his temple. Jun is besides Nino in record time. Jun tries to lessen the impact of shocking Nino when he grabs Nino’s shoulders. Nino is still lost in the terror even when Jun shakes him to come back to reality.

“Nino!”

Jun calls him several times again and finally, Nino stops playing. He turns to Jun and seeing those sad eyes, Jun brings Nino to his chest.

“Nino, please, don’t do this, I’m here, okay?”

“Jun… I… I…” Nino sobs and Jun feels his shirt wet but he feels somehow relieves that Nino leans on him.

“Sh… It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Nino cries harder in Jun’s arms. Jun keeps on patting Nino’s back, trying to assure him that he will be there. He will protect Nino from anything in this world.

They remain in that situation for several minutes when suddenly Nino wipes his tears and pushes Jun away. Jun’s heart rips to pieces at the gesture. Nino tries to shut Jun out of his world again.

“Nino…”

“I’m fine Jun- kun.”

“But,”

“I want to be alone.”

“No, this time I will not leaving, you need someone right now,” Jun argues and tries to hold Nino again. Nino flinches and it makes Jun halts on his step.

“I don’t need anyone Jun. Please, leave me alone,” Nino turns from Jun.

“Okay,” Jun says weakly before grabbing his things and walks to the front door. Jun is in the middle of wearing his shoes when the bell rings. Jun stands abruptly and turns to Nino. Nino seems oblivious. Jun opens the door. He gasps at the sight.

“Papa!”


	8. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun wants nothing more than to stay with him. But he’s afraid. What if Nino realizes that he doesn’t need Jun after all? What if Nino pushes him again after this?

“Papa!”

Jun startles.

Nino freezes before finding the strength to turn around. As he turns, he gets an armful of Sora.

“Papa! I miss you!” Sora hugs him tight but Nino fails to find the strength to hug her back. He remains trembling and tears start to escape. Later, he gets his strength back to hug his little girl.

“Sora, how..?”

Nino wipes his tears before turn to look at the door where Jun is is inviting Natsumi’s mother to the house.

“Naoko- san how?” Nino asks immediately as the kind lady sits on the couch. Nino stands to sit on the couch in front of him, never leaving Sora by bringing her with him.

“First of all, I’m really sorry Kazunari- kun,” Naoko bows but Nino assures her that it’s not her fault.

“I came to her house earlier, she tries to hide Sora from me, but I knew it that she got her. So I make an excuse and managed to bring Sora- chan back here,” Naoko explains.

“But, it’s this okay for Sora to be with me?”

“Don’t worry Kazunari- kun, as far as I know, she doesn’t have any right towards Sora. She neglected him all this while right?”

“I.. I don’t know how to thank you Naoko- san. Really,” Nino bows to her, deeply feeling grateful for the kind woman.

“Furthermore, this little girl can’t live without his papa at all right?” Naoko says as she pats Sora’s head.

“Em! I just want papa, I don’t need anything else,” Sora grins and hugs his papa again.

“I think I will make my move now,” Naoko says later and hugs Sora.

“Thanks again Naoko- san,” Nino bows again. She pats Nino’s shoulder and smiles kindly to them.

“Take a good care of Sora- chan. Not that I ever doubt it. You’re a great papa to her.”

“I will.”

Nino is ready to walk her back to the front door when suddenly the door being open rudely and Natsumi appears.

“Mama! What have you done!” Natsumi roars as soon as she is facing Nino and Naoko. Nino turns to his daughter but Jun is faster. By the time Nino turns, Jun is already bringing Sora to her room.

Nino sighs in relieves. He can facing Natsumi calmly now, knowing that Sora is safe.

“Natsumi, enough! It’s wrong for you to do this!” Naoko scolds her daughter and grabs her wrist.

“Nino! Give me my daughter back!”

“No! Why are you so insisting on getting her back after all this time?”

“Please, just give her back!”

“Natsumi, enough, let’s just go home okay?” Naoko grabs Natsumi’s body this time and tries to drag her away.

“Mama! Leave me alone! I need to get her back!”

“Natsumi, please… You don’t have the right anymore! You left her years ago!”

Natsumi glares at Naoko and struggles to free herself from her mother.

“Please Natsumi, just leave. Think about Sora, please,” Nino pleads her sincerely.

“I want my daughter back!” Natsumi screams and tries to launch at Nino.

“No, please leave,” Nino says firmly. He needs to win this.

“Don’t force me Nino! Don’t force me to do the unthinkable!”

“Natsumi, come,” Naoko drags her again.

“Stay out of this mama! Nino, give her back!” Natsumi screams like a mad before manages to free herself from Naoko and launch forward to Nino. Before she can do anything, Nino slaps her because she has losing control. She falls on the floor.

“Calm down Natsumi!”

“How dare you slap me? How dare you Nino!” Natsumi glares at him.

“Please Natsumi. You need to calm down.”

“Don’t tell me what to do. Don’t force me Nino!”

“What? What are you going to do?”

“Don’t force me to tell everyone that Sora…”

“What? What do you want to tell?”

“Sora…” Natsumi suddenly loses her words. Nino keeps his glares on Natsumi, daring her to finish. Naoko looks lost, but Nino is determined. He takes a breath before saying,

“If you want to tell that Sora isn’t my child, I already know that Natsumi,” Nino says clearly in calm, making Natsumi and Naoko gasp.

“What? Is that true Natsumi?” Naoko turns to her daughter; her face is in pure shock.

“How, how did you know?” Natsumi stutters, while Nino remains calm, when in fact he’s been trembling all along.

“If you think I’m an idiot, you’re wrong Natsumi. I have known it even before Sora is born.”

“What? How?” Natsumi is nothing but lost now. She feels weak all over her body. All her will from before gone like it never exist.

Naoko turns to Nino, silently asking confirmation. Nino nods slightly to her, trying to resist his tears when tears start welling up in Naoko eyes. Naoko wipes her tears later, and then walks to Nino to hug him gently.

“I’m sorry again Kazunari- kun,” she says after pulling apart from Nino.

“It’s not your fault Naoko- san.”

“You don’t deserve all this Kazunari. You don’t deserve all this treatment.”

“I’m fine Naoko- san, as long as I got Sora with me.”

“Then, all this proves that you deserve her more than anyone in this world,” Naoko smiles and nods at Nino before turns to help Natsumi stands.

“We’re leaving. Sorry for everything Kazunari- kun,” Naoko bows lowly this time before drags unmoving Natsumi with her.

“Kazunari- kun,” Naoko calls when they are at the front door.

“Yes, Naoko- san?”

“Thanks. Thanks for everything. We will never show up again in your life. I will make sure Natsumi will never show up in your life again,” Naoko says and then leaves before Nino manages to say anything.

Nino remains on his stand, trying to compose his self again. He sighs and rubs his face.

“Everything is fine right?” Nino whispers, trying to assure his self.

After making sure he gets his strength again, Nino walks to Sora’s room. As he opens the door, he meets with the sight of calmly sleeping Sora with Jun besides her, holding her hand gently.

“Jun- kun,” Nino calls for the man, feeling rush feelings inside of him to see the other man.

“Nino,” Jun calls back and slowly releases his hand from Sora and leaves the bed side.

“Does she..?”

“Don’t worry; she’s been sleeping for a long time already. I’m sure she doesn’t hear most of the arguing,” Jun explains and nods to Nino before walking past him.

Jun quickly leaves the room to get his things. He needs to leave before Nino asking him to leave. Nino has gotten Sora back. All is well right now and Jun doesn’t want Nino telling him to leave again. Having Nino pushing him again this time will surely breaks him with no chance to recover.

Jun glances at the room to see Nino kissing Sora’s forehead. Jun smiles before making his way out silently. Jun walks through the empty corridor to the elevator. His steps are weak and slow.

If this the right thing to do, then why does his heart still breaking?

If this is for the best, then why do his tears try to escape?

If this isn’t fate, then why does he feels like running back and ignores everything?

If this isn’t love, then why his heart does tells that it is?

Jun stops in front of the elevator. He reluctantly presses the button. He stares at the changing number at the top, telling him the elevator is getting near.

“Don’t look back. Don’t look back, Matsumoto Jun,” Jun chants to his self. He shuts his eyes when the elevator’s door opens in front of him. He knows he will lose Nino forever after this. He knows that, so he needs to prepare his self before walking into the elevator.

Jun sighs and opens his eyes. He starts walking again to the elevator when a pair of hands wrap around him, making him stops on his steps.

“Don’t go. Please don’t go,” Nino’s hoarse voice sounds behind him. Jun feels it more than hearing it.

“You don’t want me to stay, Nino.”

“No, please don’t go, Jun.”

“Nino, I… “

“I lied Jun. I lied. I need you. I need you here with me. So, please, don’t go…” Nino’s pleads. Jun feels his back wet with Nino’s tears.

Jun wants nothing more than to stay with him. But he’s afraid. What if Nino realizes that he doesn’t need Jun after all? What if Nino pushes him again after this?

“I’m sorry Jun. I’m wrong, you’re right. I need you, please,” Nino tightens his hug. That’s when Jun stops thinking altogether and turns around to hug Nino back.

He couldn’t leave after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, i'm getting tired of all this tension already, hehe. Why can't I just let Nino and Jun being together already? Kidding, I love suffering Nino too much. Hope you can still enjoy this series. I'm sorry for the arguing part, I can't express it well from what i'm thinking in my mind. Next will be the past between Nino and Natsumi, and then we will start focusing on the love~


	9. Protect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Jun, I think I owe you an explanation," Nino says later, appears calm than before.

Jun hands Nino a glass of water and then sits on the stool in front of Nino at the other side of the counter. Nino takes a sip before slowly place it back on the counter.

"Are you okay?" Jun asks after a while. Nino nods before drinks his water once more. Jun eyes him gently but when Nino returns the gaze, Jun turns away quickly, keeping his feeling in control, afraid that it will be transparent to the man in front of him. Jun's thought drifts away unconsciously to the hug they have earlier after Nino asks him to stay. It sends shiver to Jun and he tries to keep the thought away. It's too risky thinking about that in front of Nino anyway.

"Jun, I think I owe you an explanation," Nino says later, appears calm than before.

"Explanation?"

"About Sora."

Jun is curious. He's eager to know about the matter, but he is in no position to demand any explanation from Nino. Nino doesn't owe anything on that. As much as it killing him, he can't do that. It will hurt Nino too, to talk about something that he tries to hide all this while.

"No, it's okay. You don't have to force yourself. You don't owe me that at all," Jun looks at Nino and notice something that cross Nino's face, something similar to hurt but it disappear faster before Jun manages to identify it.

"You have been with me all this time, Jun. All the time when Sora disappear and till when I got her back. So, don't tell me that I don't owe you that," Nino stares straight to Jun and Jun can see clearly how hurt it is for Nino to remember back the time when Sora wasn't at his side.

"Okay, but I can wait till you're ready," Jun stares back at the eyes, immediately thought that he wants nothing more than to bring the light to those eyes.

"No, I'm ready."

Jun can see the plea in Nino's eyes, the need to get it all out, to free his chest and Jun is more than glad that Nino chose him to be the person.

Jun nods and Nino sighs before taking a deep breath. And then he start to talk and Jun listen.

*

Nino threw the rock at the river and stared at it until it disappear. He took another stone and flinched when sudden pain attack his shoulder. Seems like the fight he had earlier was worse than he thought so.

"Are you mad at the rock?"

A voice stopped Nino from throwing another rock at the river. He turns around to found a girl walked to him.

"What?" Nino managed before gasped when the girl sat beside him at the river bank.

"Are you mad at the rock? Or are you mad at the river?"

"What? Why?"

"You throw the rock so strong that I start to think that you either mad at the rock or the river," the girl explained, leaving Nino froze. This girl was strange. Normally people wouldn't even make an effort to talk to him. Well, people usually bully him for most of the time.

"Go away, I need to be alone," Nino huffed.

"I don't see why I need to go, this place isn't yours anyway," the girl smile innocently, successfully piqued Nino's interest. He rarely found anyone intriguing in any way.

"I'm Natsumi," the girl said brightly, offering his tiny hand and beautiful smile. Nino's surprise fade later and smile back as his hand took the offered hand in front of him.

*

"Natsumi, please, I can't control anyone who give a present to me okay?" Nino grunted in frustration as Natsumi kept on sulking. They were walking back from school.

"Hmph, I don't care about that okay?"

"Yeah, so stop sulking."

"I'm not!"

"Okay, I'm sorry. I will throw her present away, satisfied?"

"No, you don't need to do that, I'm just being unreasonable. Sorry," Natsumi apologies and slowed her steps, giving Nino time to catch up with her. They walked in silence and then Natsumi stopped on her track.

"What?" Nino asked. Natsumi rummaged through her beg and then handed Nino a beautifully wrapped box.

"Happy birthday," Natsumi said which earned a smile from Nino.

"Thanks," Nino took the gift before they resumed their walk. Their friendship had bloom since the day at the river bank. It's been several years from the time. They were still in the kindergarten then. Now, they were months away before their graduation.

"Ah, I forgot! Papa said that he wanted us to go to the agency after school," Natsumi said later as they were almost at their neighbourhood. It turned out that he and Natsumi lived only two street away and it also turn out that Nino's late father was one of Natsumi father's worker at the agency. He was their agency most popular composer. After knowing about the fact, Natsumi's father was very fond of Nino as Nino's late father was also a very good friend to him. It turns out that Natsumi was the only child, and Nino filled in the place of the son that his father always wanted to have.

"Really? Must be he wants me to watch another recording at the agency then?"

"Perhaps. But I'm sure he will take us out for dinner later. It's your birthday after all."

"Sounds nice but mom will scold me if I skip another duty at the restaurant tonight," Nino imagines how mad his mother will be if he really skip the duty again. The restaurant was just a small noodle restaurant that his mother opened after his father died with the unknown savings that his father kept all the time for him and his mother.

"Sometimes I wonder if father loves you more than me," Natsumi complained later but Nino was used to the complaint. He heard that occasionally after all.

"You know it isn't true. He loves you more than anything in this world," Nino said and he knew that Natsumi knew his statement was the truth after all.

"How about you?" Natsumi glanced at him before turned away quickly.

"What?"

"Do you love me?" Natsumi asked but kept her face away from Nino. Nino was startled by the sudden question but managed to gather his self back before taking Natsumi's hand in his.

*

Nino's hands ran smoothly on the piano keys. His voice clear and somewhat rough but still pleasant as he sang the song. After he finished the last key on the piano, loud cheers and claps can be heard through the hall. He stood and then bowed to the audiences. As he got up from the bow, he care less about the other audiences and kept his eyes fix on the pair of eyes staring lovingly at him. The eyes that screamed love and also the eyes that he swore he will kept for the rest of his eyes. Nino smoothened his tuxedo before walking back to his bride.

"Are you happy?"

"I'm a fool if I'm not. I'm married to you now," Natsumi smiled brightly, looking at the person that had always been by her side. Her friend, her companion, her soul, her love and her everything.

"Thanks for marrying me," Nino smiles in happiness. He was sure that this was the person that he will grow old with. She's the person who taught him about true love.

*

Nino dropped his keys after he entered the dark apartment. He was exhausted. He had been working for the whole week now. Ever since his father in law told him that he was going to debut, Nino had been working really hard to make sure that the song was perfect as his debut song. Although the debut might take longer than months, or maybe a year, he was really commit to it. It's their special song anyway. Nino smiled thinking back at how surprised Natsumi was on their wedding day when Nino sang the song. It's the song that he made especially for her. Although the wedding was already 2 years ago, the moment still clear in his mind.

Nino entered the bedroom to find Natsumi already sleeping. He sighed thinking of how less time they had been spending these days. Especially after Nino started working at his father in law's agency. And juggling between the work at the agency and his mother's restaurant really left him drained. He blamed himself for neglecting Natsumi. But he knew Natsumi will understand. She always will.

*

"What?" Nino snapped from his thought and turn to Natsumi besides him.

"When will you listening to me Kazunari?" Natsumi sighed. Nino gently held her hand and tugged her to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me," Nino had been lost in his thought and he can't find in himself to stare directly in Natsumi's eyes. He felt guilty.

"Okay. Forgiveness granted."

"So?"

"So? What?"

"You've been saying something before?"

"Oh, that. I told you that I'm pregnant," Natsumi smiled but Nino can clearly saw how tasteless that smile was. And Nino knew exactly why and he had been trying really hard to control himself and tried to give her the proper reaction. He felt himself trembling and tears felt like welling up his eyes. He hugged Natsumi quickly to hide that.

"Thanks for this miracle," Nino whispered and kissed her temple, feeling Natsumi stiffened but then she tried to relax.

Later, after Natsumi was sound asleep in the room, Nino slowly slipped out from the apartment. He needed to get the air. He needed to think. He aimlessly wander around the city, not minding where he was, losing himself in the thought. Today had been a really bad day for him.

It's a bad day to know that his wife was pregnant on the same day he got his result from the doctor. He can't have a child. He was infertile.

And Natsumi can never knew and will never know about that.

*

Their marriage had been rocking and getting worse even more during Natsumi pregnancy period. Nino clearly knew the problem was. He had been keeping about his condition and Natsumi had been keeping the truth about the baby's real father. Nino wanted to make things right again. After the day he knew about the pregnancy, he had been thinking a lot and he decided that he still loved Natsumi and he loved to have the baby, never mind who the father was. He was ready to forgive Natsumi for the sake of the baby.

When he first landed his sight on the beautiful Sora, he fell in love immediately. He forgot about all the problems beneath it because Sora is beautiful. She was breathtaking. And Nino never mind anything else as long as he got Sora and his little family.

Natsumi seems brighter after the deliver although she never cared about the baby. Nino was the one who's tend to the baby's need. Nino was the one who's still loving and caring for Sora. Luckily, his mother and his mother in law had been helping him through all the process.

Sora was a year old when Natsumi's father died. Everything went on so quick that Nino hardly had time to register it all. Nino loved his father in law so much. He had been the real father to Nino and the memories with him was the one that keeping him together.

A week after, Natsumi took over the agency. Nino had barely managed to pieces his life together when he had been told that his debut was cancelled. Natsumi left him and Sora the next day, saying that she lost the love he felt for Nino and even Sora.

Nino crumbled again. This time even harder that before. Although their marriage had been on the rock all this while, Natsumi was still the person who grounded him. He had known Natsumi since child. She was the one who's bringing his confidence back. She was the one who motivate him to fight the bully, to stand for himself. She was the one who always be the one next to him.

When she left, Nino felt his body was like a shell.

Empty.

He almost ended it all. He almost ended his life when Sora came, crawling to him, with a bright smile and laugh, gripping his hand like he was her world. Nino realized then that Sora is his world. With Sora he will never felt the disappointment. She will always be with him.

*

"And the rest you already know it," Nino ends his story. His voice remains soft but Jun is sure there isn't any weakness there. Just a sadness and also a relief. Jun notices how Nino's hands trembles and how strong his grip on the side of the table. Jun slowly reaches out his hand, giving Nino the opportunity to deny him but when Nino remains silent, Jun covers his hands around Nino's.

"My life had been a joke, right?" Nino mumbles later and Jun tightened his grip, sending the message that Jun disagree with it.

"The song, is it that song?" Jun asks later, careful, afraid that it will bring tremor in Nino.

"Yes, it's the song. The song that I played on the piano with you caught me getting terror all over my body. It's the song I compose for her, the song that I played on our wedding, my supposedly debut song," Nino chuckles again but Jun felt his hands trembles even more in Jun's grip.

"Jun, is it okay for me for being selfish? Is it okay for me to keep Sora?"

"You are the one who deserves Sora the most in this world, Nino. And Sora deserves you as her father. You are a great father, don't let anyone or anything make you think otherwise."

"I, I..." Nino drops his head, trying to collect his self again.

"You are the most amazing person in this world Nino. If I have been at your place, I don't think I can survive it."

Nino chuckles before shakes his head.

"There are too many times that I almost give up Jun. Too many. But when I almost doing so, I received a lot of help. When I almost did the most stupid thing in the world to end my life, Sora came. When I lost without job, without goal in my life, Oh- chan came. When I felt helpless, thinking I am not a good father to Sora, my mother is always besides me, and then now, you came. You came to my life, ready to catch me when I nearly fall. I can't do this without help, Jun."

Jun feels the feeling overwhelms him, making him stands and turns around the table to hug Nino. He ignore all the logical thinking, hugging Nino is the most important thing right now. Moment later, he feels his shirt wet with tears.

And it is the moment that Jun decided to protect Nino no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait again! Life had been very hectic for me. It still is. Hope there's still a reader and hope you can enjoy. I will not name the song even though I left several hints of what is that song, I just don't want to ruin any Nino's song for Natsumi. It can be any song, you can choose and not choosing any at all^^ Thanks! :D


	10. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive later in the evening at the camp site. The place is so beautiful and they decide to camp near the river. Daichi and Sora have been running as soon as they arrive. After spending the journey playing and sleeping, both kids seems happy to finally manage to get space to spend their energy on.

Jun is in his office when Ohno comes, knocking at the door.

"Ah, Ohno, come in," Jun stops his work and then tells one of his worker to get a coffee for Ohno.

"I hope I'm not distracting you from working," Ohno says but Jun shakes his head, telling him that it's okay.

"Where's Sho?"

"Outside, with Toma, probably planning another camping trip," Ohno chuckles.

"So, what's the matter?" Jun asks after Ohno took a sip on his coffee.

"Ah, it's nothing, just feeling like it's been a while from my last visit."

"Oh, I thought you want me to design another outfit for you."

"I will, but perhaps in next month, I will be releasing new album then."

"New album, seems great."

"Of course, Nino is working really hard for that."

"I see," Jun's heart skip a beat at the sudden mention of Nino's name. It's been a while since his last meeting with Nino too. And Sora.

"Jun, do you love him?"

"Eh, what?" Jun startles at the question, trying to calm himself back.

"Nino, you love him right?"

"What? No! Where did you get that conclusion Ohno- san?" Jun tries to appear calm. He isn't sure if he can talk about the matter with Ohno. If his assumption that Ohno loves Nino too is right, it will be even worse.

"It's okay Jun, you can be honest with me," Ohno smiles, looking calm contrast from Jun.

"I'm not even gay, Ohno," Jun regrets it the moment he said that, but he thinks he needs to escape this interrogation about his feeling with Ohno.

"Yes, maybe you aren't. But I see the way you look at him."

"What, how? I think it's just the same way with everyone," Jun chuckles, trying to hide from Ohno.

"No, it's different when you look at him. It's the look that special for Nino only. In fact, I never saw that look on you, aside from Daichi of course."

"He's just my friend Ohno. And isn't it you who's been in love with him?" Jun returns the question back, seeing Ohno smiles.

"Yes, I'm in love with him, but he isn't in love with me, as far as I know," Ohno takes a sip on his coffee again.

"Try confess to him then," Jun suggests although his brain immediately scolds him.

"It's not that easy, Jun. He's not like any other person. He's someone that I don't want to just confess and forget when he reject me. He's more than that."

Jun notices that Ohno's face light up. He seems happy but sad at the same time. He talks more too.

"I have been trying to give him the message about my affection for him, but no, I don't think he got that yet. And then you came to his life, he's been different since then."

"Different?"

"He smiles a lot more now. And he laughs more. His eyes too."

"Eyes?"

"It shines," Ohno keeps his eyes on Jun. Jun feels uneasy, trying to figure out why he's having this conversation now.

"I don't know about that. You know him better than me, Ohno."

"Yes, but perhaps, you are the one that he love."

"No, I don't think so. Perhaps you've been reading too much into this Ohno."

"Perhaps, but he really seems happier now."

Jun has nothing to say. He feels bad somehow. Ohno really loves Nino.

"I'm not angry at you, Jun. I can't force Nino to love me back. It doesn't work like that. All this while I've been trying, to make him notice me, but he is still far away from me. There's still a wall that he built around me, which I don't see it when he's with you."

"I... I don't know what to say," Jun really feel even bad now. He wants to hope that all Ohno said is true, but if it really happen, it isn't fair to Ohno.

"You know why I ask you all this, Jun?"

Jun shakes his head. Clearly he can't see the point.

"Because if you really love him too, then I can prepare my heart when the time come. I can be strong when he really reject me."

"You can't know that Ohno."

"Yes, but I can feel it. And also, if you really love him too, then I can be assure that he's in the right hand. I can be assure that he will be happy. Because I know you, Jun. I know you will make him happy."

"Ohno..."

"And Sora too. I know you love her dearly," Ohno smiles.

"I don't know what to say Ohno. It's Nino. He isn't like anyone else. You says that too, right?"

"Yes. So, do you love him?"

Jun is hesitating when Sho knocks and dash in the office.

"Sho, you startled me!" Ohno scolds in which Sho apologies.

"I thought you already finish talking, I just want to ask Jun if he wants to join me and Toma camping this weekend," Sho says.

"And you too, Satoshi," Sho turns to Ohno in which Ohno quickly shakes his head.

"What? Why? You've got this weekend off right?" Sho sits besides Ohno.

"I promise my mom to visit my sister, and also I promise my father to go fishing, sorry."

"Ah, okay then. Jun?"

"I'm not sure, Sho."

"Come on! You can bring Daichi too. It's bored you know, to just camping with Toma."

"Erm..."

"I will ask my cousin too! He's been bugging me to bring him too," Sho adds again.

"Okay, okay. Ohno, your manager is really persistent!"

"I know, although I've getting used to it already," jokes Ohno.

"Oi!" Sho protests and smacks the singer's head but laughs then, tenderly looking at Ohno.

At that time, Jun realizes that Sho has that special look that saves only for Ohno too.

*

Jun is putting the meals in the lunch box when his phone rings. Jun checks the caller id and his heart flutters.

"Nino, what's up?"

"I'm outside your house now, buzz me in."

"Eh, why? Okay," Jun stops his work and answers the door. When he opens the door, he meets the smiling faces of Nino and Sora.

"J!" Sora jumps and hugs Jun. Jun hugs her just as tightly.

"Come in," Jun invites them as he apart from the little girl.

"Sorry to intruding," Nino says and Sora runs to find Daichi in the living room.

"Sho says to meet here before we going," Nino says as he drops his things at the living room.

"You are going camping too?"

"Yeah, he doesn't tell you that?"

"No, that guy, what he's thinking?"

"Maybe he just forget."

"And he also not telling me that we're meeting here."

"Well, you can get mad at him later," Nino chuckles and follows Jun to the kitchen.

"Anything that I can help with?" Nino asks as he takes a roll of sushi from the plate.

"Nothing I think. I'm almost done anyway," Jun smiles. Nino helps anyway by helping to put the remaining sushi in the lunch box.

They're just chatting when Sho arrives.

"Hi, sorry I'm late," Sho apologizes as soon as he enters the house with someone tailing behind him.

"Ah, this is my cousin," Sho adds later and they gasps seeing the person.

"Aiba- sensei!" Sora and Daichi run to him.

"Ah, Dai- chan! Sora- chan!" Aiba greets them cheerfully.

"This is your cousin?" Jun asks and Nino eyes him surprisingly.

"Yeah, why?"

"How come you never told that he's a teacher at Daichi's kindergarten?"

"I forget he works there. Well, I know he's a kindergarten teacher, but I forget the kindergarten name. So, yeah," Sho shrugs.

"Where's Toma?"

"Ah, he's got something to do suddenly, and it's urgent. So just us, then."

"Okay."

"So, let's go?"

"Yeah, let's go. We're late already."

They're putting their things in Sho's minivan when they heard someone calling their name. They turn to the source to find running Ohno with his bag.

"Oh- chan!" Nino greets him cheerfully while the rest just gaping there looking at Ohno. Sho recovers then and smack the singer head.

"Why the sudden? You said you got plan with your family?"

"Ah, the plan was cancelled. My father got a fever and my mom need to look after him. So, yeah," Ohno says and then hands his bag to Sho who continues loading their necessary things in the vehicle.

"You can just inform me, you know," Sho pouts and Jun chuckles looking at how the normally compose Sho can acts like that in front of Ohno. Well, maybe his suspicion is right after all.

After finish the preparation, they hop into the car with Sho driving and Aiba besides him. Jun is hesitating where he should be sitting but then decides to go straight to the third row behind with Daichi and Sora. Jun questions his action but firmly decides to just let Ohno sitting with Nino in the second row. He has been thinking about this all night after his talk with Ohno. It's clear how much Ohno loves Nino and how much he's been hurting. And it's unfair to Ohno because Jun is the man that came later to Nino's life. The fact that Jun wants Nino to be happy is also the truth.

Even if he isn't that person to cause that.

*

They arrive later in the evening at the camp site. The place is so beautiful and they decide to camp near the river. Daichi and Sora have been running as soon as they arrive. After spending the journey playing and sleeping, both kids seems happy to finally manage to get space to spend their energy on.

The adults quickly built the tent and provides the necessary needs around their camping site before the day turn dark. They manage to finish the task and then begin to start preparing the dinner when the sunlight gradually disappear from the sky.

That night, they decide to not doing anything and just going to sleep after dinner. Sora and Daichi have been dozing off right after dinner, perhaps too tired of the journey. Both Jun and Nino take their daughter and son to their tent, leaving Sho, Ohno and Aiba that still enjoy chatting. The three of them will be sleeping in the other tent which is bigger than Nino's and Jun's.

The next morning, Jun wakes up early. Daichi is still sleeping when he leaves the tent. As he walks out, Nino is already awake and is preparing the breakfast with Ohno. They are laughing to something when Jun pass by and stop to greet Jun good morning. Jun heads to the river to refresh and although he tries to appear normal, there's a tug at his heart. He thought he will be okay after he decides to forget the love for Nino. He thought he is okay when he decides to leave Nino to Ohno, but with the way his heart hurt right now, he knows, he will be having a hard fight to get through it. Jun takes a deep breath to calm himself and the return to the camp site after finished his business. After everyone is awake, they start having their breakfast.

*

Jun helps Sora climbs the higher part as Aiba helps Daichi in front of them. Sho is in front of them as he already knows the route to the hill. They're almost arrive at the top of the small hill not far from their camping site. This morning, after breakfast, they're discussing the activity for today. Ohno wants to fish while Sho wants to climb the hill. Sora wants to climb too as she wants to take a picture from above. Daichi wanted to follow Sora and Jun offers to take care of them. Jun asks Nino to join Ohno to fish and Aiba offers to help Jun looking after the kids. They decides to split up because they will return to the city tomorrow. Ohno's and also Sho's tight schedule restrain them to stay longer than three days.

"J, why you look sad?" Sora asks and tugs at Jun hand that has been holding her hand as they walk through the route to the top of the hill.

"Eh, I'm not, I'm just tired," Jun smiles and pats the girl's head.

"Do you miss papa?" Sora asks again, making Jun startles. Luckily, the rest of them are quite far from Jun and Sora. Otherwise it will be strange if they heard Sora's question.

"Why are you asking that?" Jun manages to ask back later.

"It's because I already miss papa," Sora pouts and Jun sighs in relieve. It's just an innocent question from Sora.

"I'm sure papa miss Sora- chan too."

Sora nods. Jun smiles looking at her, thinking just how much they love each other despite not being related by blood at all. Jun dismiss the thought when Daichi runs to them and tugs Sora to the top.

"Daddy! Sora- chan! The top!" Daichi say excitedly and they joins Aiba and Sho enjoying the view from the above. Jun helps Sora takes a picture and after a while, they decide to climb down to return to the camp site. The return journey is easier than climbing up and they manage to arrive earlier.

"J, help me find papa," Sora says as soon as they finish putting down their bag. Jun manages to ask Aiba and Sho to look after Daichi before Sora pulls him to the river where Ohno and Nino are fishing.

"Papa!" Sora runs after Nino that been playing a game on his DS. Jun chuckles at the sight. Although he has been outdoor, Nino still hooking up with his game after all.

"Caught many fish?" Jun asks Ohno who's already begin to tidy up his fishing tools.

"A lot," Ohno smiles and show the fish in the bucket.

"Let me help," Jun offers and helps Ohno getting the bucket as Ohno struggles with his fishing tools. Jun and Ohno head back to the camp site first. Jun looks back to the river to find Nino and Sora playing with the water.

"Jun, I appreciate what you did. Really," Ohno says later.

"I really thought you should try to confess Ohno."

"I know, but I'm afraid that I will be losing him sooner than I thought."

"You will never know if you don't try," Jun mentally mocking himself for saying that. He understands Ohno's feeling because he feels the same. Perhaps the friendship that he has with Nino is better than having to risk losing Nino completely. They almost at the camp site already when Sora comes running after them.

"J! Help! Papa!" Sora yell and then grab Jun's hand before pulling Jun to run back to the river. Jun manages to hand Ohno the bucket and his heart turn chaos immediately, thinking about the bad thing that happened to Nino.

"Sora, what happened?"

"We were playing with the water when suddenly papa slips and fall into the water," Sora sobs.

They arrive at the river but there's no sign of Nino. Jun tries to calm himself.

"Help papa, J. He can't swim!"

"Wait here," Jun then walks further up the river bank when he notices Nino clinging on the rock in the deeper side of the river. Jun immediately jump into the river and having a hard time making his way as the water runs fast at the area.

"Jun!" Nino calls after him and Jun can see Nino almost drains up his energy. Jun swim faster to him. Luckily, the adrenaline manages to help him going through the crazy water. Jun grabs Nino immediately as he arrives. He clings on the rock too to take a quick rest before start swimming back to the land.

"Hold on tight, Nino," says Jun and Nino nods, lacing his hand around Jun's neck. After the struggle, they manage to get near the river bank and only now Jun notices that the rest are already there. Jun helps Nino getting up first and Ohno helps from the river bank. After Nino is safe, Sho helps Jun who's already too tired to get up by himself. Immediately after he gets on the river bank, he goes to Nino to check up on him, his mind focusing only on Nino.

"You okay?" Jun cups Nino's face and his eyes wander to check if Nino had any injury. Indeed he has. There's a blood running from the scratches on Nino's arms and legs, perhaps when he's struggling to save himself.

"You're bleeding," Jun breathes out, checking on the bleeding spots.

"Jun, I'm fine," Nino assures him and smiles a weak smile to Jun.

"Matsujun, we need to get back to the tent. Both of you are shivering," Sho suggests and only now does Jun notices his surroundings. Jun nods and immediately lifts Nino on his arms.

"Jun! I'm fine," Nino tries to protest but Jun ignores him and starts walking back to the site. Once there, Jun gets the first aid kit and tends to Nino's injury. After making sure that he is okay, Jun lets Nino change his clothes and he also does the same.

Sho and Ohno help to start the fire and Aiba is looking after Sora and Daichi. After making sure that he calms enough, Jun starts preparing the dinner for all of them.

*

"Jun," Nino calls after him after dinner when Jun is just sitting around near the fire. Jun turns to him and Nino sits beside him.

"Feeling better?" Jun eyes the shorter man, seeing that Nino wearing several pieces of clothes and a sweater. Nino nods to answer Jun.

"Thanks," Nino says later as they sit silently, looking after the fire.

"It's nothing, don't mention it," Jun says although looking back earlier, he felt like dying knowing that Nino is in danger and he almost lose him.

"No, really, thank you," Nino hands out and squeezes Jun's hand. Jun turns to him and their eyes lock on each other. Jun can sees the gentle look on Nino's eyes and Jun can't helps falling in love even more with the shorter man.

"Papa!" Sora's voice snaps them from their situation. Nino retreats his hand from Jun and it makes Jun feels cold even more.

"Yes, what it is?"

"Can I sleep with Dai- chan and Aiba sensei tonight?"

"Eh, why?"

"Aiba sensei wants to tell a story and I want to play more with Dai- chan before we going home tomorrow," Sora pleads and Jun chuckles seeing how serious Nino is thinking about the matter.

"Daddy! I want to sleep with Sora- chan and Aiba sensei tonight!" Daichi comes and runs to Jun to ask permission like Sora did earlier.

"Sure," Jun smiles and mess up his son's hair.

"Thank you daddy!"

"Papa," Sora pouts.

"Will you be fine without me?" Nino asks and Sora nods.

"Okay, I guess," Nino says later and Sora jumps hugging his papa.

"Thanks papa! Good night!" Sora kiss his father's cheeks before turn to do the same to Jun.

"Good night, J!"

"Good night, dear. Have fun!" Jun smiles and turns to kiss Daichi then.

"I hope she's going to be okay," Nino looks after Sora and Daichi that walks by to the bigger tent that Aiba, Ohno and Sho sleep the night before.

"You look like someone just hand in marriage for Sora," Jun chuckles in which Nino punch his shoulder lightly.

"I'm not okay. It just happen that I worry about her all the time."

"I know."

"Guys, both of you need to sleep in Jun's tent okay?" Sho says as he getting near Nino and Jun, wiping his face with a small towel.

"Eh, why?"

"Well, Aiba, Sora and Daichi already occupied one tent and Ohno is already falling asleep in Nino's tent. I will be joining Ohno. So, yeah," Sho explains.

"Okay then," Nino nods and Sho greets them good night before disappear into the tent.

"So, are you sleepy?" Jun asks later, trying to calm his racing heart.

"I guess so."

"Go to sleep then."

"How about you?"

"I've got some thinking to do. I will be following later."

"Okay."

Nino stands and wipes his trousers before heading to the tent. He stops before entering the tent and turn to Jun.

"J!"

"Hm?"

"Don't stay up too late!"

"Okay!"

"Good night," Nino smiles before and then disappear into the tent. Jun returns the greeting before sighing, thinking about today's events. Although he tried hard to forget about his feeling towards Nino, seems like everything just pushing him closer to Nino instead. Jun just hoping that he can retreat before getting any serious damage to his heart. After a while, his thinking just turn him even more miserable so he decides that sleeping is better after all.

The next morning, Jun wakes up by the sound of someone walking around the tent. Probably Aiba or Sho or Ohno that already awake. Jun opens his eyes and tries to clear his vision when he comes to face to face with the most beautiful face that he has been imprinted in his mind.

Nino is still sleeping. His light snores and his calm breathes make Jun immobilizes. His eyelashes flutter smoothly and from the close contact Jun can see the moles decorating Nino's face clearly now. Something in the view, something in the way their body almost touching each other and something in the calm air between them turns Jun's heart into chaos. His heart tugs painfully and single tear runs down his face.

'This is what I want. Waking up next to him.'

Jun sobs quietly thinking just how much he loves Nino. Just how much he wants something that he knows he can't have.

'I'm pathetic.' Jun wipes up his last tear and then slowly stands to leave the tent, carefully to not wake Nino. He needs to compose himself before ready to face Nino again.

If Jun turns back to see Nino then, he will see how Nino's trembling hand slowly grasps his shirt at the place of his heart and tears welling up his now open eyes, covering the confusion there.


	11. Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nino rides the elevator in silence and casually greets anyone that he knows when they enter the elevator at certain floor. He arrives at the lobby later and digs for his car key when he is stop by a slender figure in front of him.

Nino finishes the final scores for the latest song that he writes for Ohno. He smiles, satisfy at the result. He just hopes that Ohno will love the song too. Nino yawns and stands to do little exercises to loosen his stiff muscles. He has been working since morning and he sighs looking at the clock, realizing that Sora must has been falling asleep waiting for him at his mother's house.

He quickly clean up his work table and the studio before grabbing his things to leave. The hallway is empty but Nino sure that in the studios, there are a lot of people who's still working hard to finish their work.

Nino rides the elevator in silence and casually greets anyone that he knows when they enter the elevator at certain floor. He arrives at the lobby later and digs for his car key when he is stop by a slender figure in front of him.

"Nino."

"What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk?"

"I'm in hurry."

"Please," Natsumi pleads and Nino hesitates for a while before silently nods. They decide to walk to nearby cafe in front of the agency building. After receiving their drinks, Natsumi bows to Nino.

"I want to apologise to you," Natsumi says after Nino insists for her to raise her head.

"What for?"

"For everything that I've ever done to you. Especially for taking Sora from you. I'm really sorry," Natsumi apologizes sincerely and Nino can see her eyes glistening with tears.

" I'm sorry too," Nino says after a while, his gaze fix on his drink.

"No, it's not your fault. It's so foolish of me to take someone so precious from you."

"She's your child too, you know."

"I know."

"Why now? Why only now you want to care for her?" Nino asks and then takes a sip of his drink.

"I felt lost. Takeshi left me and suddenly I felt like I have nothing in this world. So, I want to take Sora back. It was cruel of me to do that but I can't help it," Natsumi avoids to look at Nino. Nino clinched at the mention of the man that took Natsumi from him years ago. And he tried to ignore the fact that maybe the man is Sora's father.

"It's selfish of me, but please don't do that again. You will kill me," Nino pleads and Natsumi nods slowly.

"I know. I already know it from the start that she will be fine with you. I never doubt that."

"And I hope she can always be with me."

"She will," Natsumi wipes her wet eyes. "It's cruel of me but the truth is I don't think I can be a good mother to her. I," Natsumi stops, hesitating to continue but then continue as she feels Nino gaze on her. "I, I don't feel the love for her, Nino. I'm a bad mother, right?"

Nino clenches his fist but tries to stay calm. He just stares at Natsumi.

"Every time I look at her, it just reminds me of my betrayal towards you."

"It's not her fault," Nino says sternly, trying to control his emotion.

"I know. I know. I'm, it's me. I'm at fault here and I really feel bad. But I'm relieved because she's with you."

Natsumi wipes her silent tears.

"Nino, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. I'm at fault too. I am responsible too for causing you to cheat on me," Nino says after a while. "I know how lonely you are after your father's death."

"But still I shouldn't did what I did," Natsumi shakes her head, probably still thinking about the past.

"I'm sorry for not being a good husband."

"No, you're a good husband. It's just me not being a good wife to you."

"At least we are a good friend with each other, right?"

"I guess so," Natsumi smiles earnestly this time.

"Erm, Nino."

"Yes?"

"Actually there is still one thing I need to apologize from you."

"What?"

Natsumi looks nervous and then she opens her bag and takes out an envelope.

"Here," Natsumi put the envelope on the table and shove it to Nino slowly. Nino takes the envelope and take out the content before reading the content of the papers.

"It's also the reason why I left you," Natsumi says shamefully after Nino finish reading the papers.

"What?"

"I couldn't stand it. Papa always love you and even after he's dead he still thinking about you. So, that's why I hide this document and then kick you out from the agency. I'm really sorry," Natsumi bows again.

"I don't know what to say," Nino sighs and lumps on his seat. The document says that Nino has 20% shares in Natsumi's father agency.

"I'm really sorry. I don't know what I'm thinking back then. Luckily, I have mama. She's the one that make me realizes all my mistakes towards you."

Nino is still speechless. He doesn't know what to feel right now. Natsumi then takes another papers from her bag before hands it to Nino. Nino reads the content before once again he looks at Natsumi in shock.

"You are now the biggest share holder in the agency," Natsumi smiles.

"I can't take this. This is your father's Natsumi. It's his legacy," Nino shakes his head and hands the papers back to Natsumi.

"I know papa will agree with me on this. Mama already agreed too. We know you can manage it better than me. Since before, you're the one who's always take interest in papa's agency. You know I'm not even interested in music, right?"

"But Natsumi, it's too much! I can't take this."

"Please, for Sora?"

Nino sighs in defeat. He can't believe this. Suddenly he is giving the responsibility to manage the agency left by his late father in law. In the papers that handed later by Natsumi says that he has 50% shares while Natsumi has 20%. It is the reverse amount from the documents by Natsumi's father.

"I will do this for Sora, but, still I can't accept all this suddenly."

"Nino, you can. I know you can. You know the agency better than me."

"What are you going to do then?"

"Actually, I'm going to America with mama next month," Natsumi smiles brightly.

"Why?"

"Mama's friend has a boutique there and she offers me to become a trainer designer there. We want to start anew, and I want to spend more time with mama. I've been neglecting her for a long time already. I want to make her happy again."

"Is that so," Nino is at loss. Somehow, this Natsumi in front of her seems like a different person already. And frankly, Nino is happy for her.

"I'm sorry again for all things I've done to you," Natsumi sincerely says.

"Me too."

"And thanks for everything. Be happy, Nino. Take care of Sora."

"You too. Please take care of your mother and send my regards to her."

"Jya, I think this is good bye then," Natsumi stands and then bows to Nino. Nino mirrors the action and then Natsumi waves before leaving the cafe in smile.

Nino seats back on his chair. Somehow he feels the calmness that has been losing from him long before. He feels like a heavy burden has been lifted from him.

*

Jun puts the cake in the middle of the table that already full with other foods. He smiles satisfied and then turn to look at the decorations that have been done by Aiba, Sora and Daichi. He returns to the kitchen when the bell rings. He runs a bit to the door to welcome Sho and Ohno.

"You're late. Barely here before Nino come back home," Jun lightly scold but Sho and Ohno just smile sheepishly to him. After making sure the preparations are done, Jun joins the other at the living room to wait for Nino. They're making the surprise birthday party for Nino. Earlier in the morning, Nino called him asking him if he can look after Sora because Nino will be busy for today. Jun agreed easily as he already plan the party with the others. They also decides to do it at Nino's house because Nino will be exhausting when return from work. Furthermore, it is to avoid any suspicion if it be held at Jun's house or other place.

Jun asks Sora to text Nino earlier saying that Jun will look after Sora at Nino's house so there's no need for Nino to fetch Sora at Jun's house. Nino reply saying that he will be back at 9 pm. Nearly 9, they hear the sound of key in the front door. Sho switch off the light, making the apartment turn dark. They gather at the centre and prepare with the confetti. As Nino enters the house, Jun hears him muttering why does it's so dark in here. Nino walks slowly to the switch and switch on the light and then they shout;

"Surprise!!!"

"Wow," Nino is startles and back away a little before smiling seeing the picture of the situation. He is cover with the confetti.

"Papa! Happy birthday!" Sora runs to him and hug his father tightly.

"Thanks, dear. Thank you everyone!" Nino's smile is bright and Jun glad that the surprise went well.

After the little commotion, they sit and start to eat the foods. They also hands their birthday present to Nino. Nino looks so happy and Jun never see him like this ever since he knew the shorter man. After finished eating and opening the presents, they decides to end the party to let Nino rest. Although he insist that he's fine but they knows Nino have been working hard these days trying to manage his works and also the agency. Both Daichi and Sora also already falling asleep on the couch.

They help cleaning after the mess. Luckily, they're not drinking and it's only a little party so they manage to finish cleaning before it's too late.

Jun lifts Daichi's small body before greets everyone and leave. He's the first one to leave while Aiba, Sho and Ohno still having a little chat with Nino. Jun is already at the apartment lobby when he realizes that he forget his phone. He walks back to the elevator and meets with Aiba and Sho who's just coming out from the elevator.

"Ah, Matsujun, what's wrong?" asks Sho.

"I forgot my phone."

"Oh, I see."

"Can you look after Daichi for a while? I'm going to dash to grab it."

"It's okay, I'm waiting for Ohno by the way. He stay back for a while to discuss about the recording tomorrow."

"Okay, then."

"Come," Sho hands out his hand to take Daichi in his arms.

"Thanks, wait for a while ne, I will be hurry," Jun says and then get into the elevator.

He arrives at Nino's floor later and walks fast to Nino's house. He is already at the corner when his steps halt suddenly. He can feels his heart breaks into pieces. His mind numb and so does his body. Luckily, he manages to recover before either Nino or Ohno realizes he is there. Jun immediately turn towards the way he came.

In the elevator, his knees buckle, making him falls on his feet. His mind cloudy. His heart still breaking and he can't stop his mind from keep replying the image he saw earlier. In fact, it keeps playing in his mind, driving him crazy.

The image of Ohno and Nino kissing in front of Nino's door.


	12. Rejection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun tries to ignore how his brain mocking him and his heart telling him otherwise.

Nino is so happy. He can't stop smiling. He was so tired earlier as he was so busy with the agency. But when he got home to be surprise with the birthday party, all the exhausting feeling disappear just like that. And to be with the important people in his life is truly a bless. His life has also been happier and calmer nowadays. The happiness that long gone seems that it will stay this time.

After finishes talking with Ohno about the album, Nino sends him off at the door. He wonders what bothering Ohno. Although he seems happy at the party, it looks like he's been thinking hard about something too. The usually calm and collected Ohno looks anxious earlier.

Nino smiles looking at Sora who's fast asleep on the couch. She and Daichi have been playing non- stop ever since the party start, no wonder they were already fall asleep before the party ended. Nino gently lifts Sora and bring her to her room. He lays down her daughter on her bed and put a blanket on her. Nino drops a kiss on her forehead before leaves the room.

He walks to the kitchen to grab a water. The kitchen looks even more shiny than before because of Jun cleaning it after the party. As he sits to drink the water, he notices Jun's phone on the counter there. It's rare of Jun to forget things like this but perhaps because he was carrying Daichi earlier, he might forget about his phone altogether.

Nino takes the phone and grabs his house key. He may be manage to catch on Jun. Perhaps Jun is still at the lobby or at the car park. He opens the front door and stops on his step as a figure is standing there.

"Oh- chan! You surprise me!"

"Nino," Ohno fidgets on his stand, never thought that Nino will be coming out.

"Why are you still here? Sho- chan is waiting for you, right?"

"Nino, I," Ohno stutters. Nino eyes him confusingly.

"What it is, Oh- chan?"

Ohno fails to say anything and Nino looks at him, waiting patiently for Ohno to say anything. Nino thinks that perhaps it is better for him to invite Ohno in again before anyone walking past his house, it will be bad for the singer. Before he manages to say anything, Ohno grabs him by his neck and kiss him. Nino is startle and freezes on his feet, failing to register Ohno's lips on his.

Ohno tries to deepen the kiss but Nino remains unresponsive when suddenly the feel of Jun's phone in his hand brings him back to the reality. He puts his hand on Ohno's chest and then slowly pushing Ohno apart.

"I love you."

Nino is shock. He never thought that Ohno has that kind of feeling towards him. He keeps silent, fails to give a proper response to Ohno while Ohno keeps his gaze on Nino.

"Oh- chan, I'm sorry."

Ohno stares at him and Nino hates to look at Ohno's sad eyes. And he hates it even more that he is the reason.

"It's Jun, right?" Ohno says, turning his gaze away from Nino.

"What do you mean? It has nothing to do with Jun," Nino is puzzle. It's nothing to do with Jun, right?

"You love him, you love Jun," Ohno smiles weakly, saying the words like he is chanting to himself.

"What? No, I'm, Oh- chan, I," Nino stutters, he doesn't understand it. Love? Jun is a friend. Right?

"You love him too. You love Jun too," Ohno cups Nino's face, staring at the eyes that screams love for someone else.

"Oh- chan, I don't," Nino shakes his head. It's all so confusing.

"Be happy, Nino," Ohno restrains his tears and kisses Nino's forehead. He smiles his kind smile before start walking away. Nino tries to grab Ohno's wrist and say anything to make it better but decide against it. It is better for him to not make thing worse. Nino feels like crying as he watches Ohno's retreating figure leaving. Never once he saw Ohno like this ever since he knows him.

Nino is at loss on what to do. He keeps standing in front of the door. After a while, he enters his apartment back and walks to sit on the couch. He is just staring at the wall when Jun's phone vibrates, signalling a mail. Nino stares at it.

"I love Jun?"

Nino says the words and suddenly his heart speeds up. He's long forgotten about the feeling. Ever since Natsumi left him, the only love that he knows is the love towards Sora. He never thought that the feeling will come back and it feels even stronger. He also never thought that he can feel it with a man, with his friend.

"Love..."

Is it love?

He isn't sure about it. But if it's love, it's explain all the weird feeling he got when he's with Jun. It's also explains the heartbreaking feeling he felt when he saw Jun cried back then in the tent during their camping.

The happiness that he feels when he's with Jun, the urge to be with Jun doing anything together, and the calm feeling when Jun just being by his side. If it is love, then it also explains all that. If it's love, it's also the reason why Jun's image kept on replaying on his mind when Ohno kissed him earlier.

"It's love then," Nino mutters and his heart still beating like crazy.

And he feels like he wants to run to Jun right now.

*

Ohno tries hard to restrain his tears as he walks towards his waiting car. He pulls down his cap even more when he walks pass the lobby. He immediately climbs into the car. Sho eyes him but Ohno stubbornly turns from Sho's knowing gaze.

Ohno is expecting Sho to say anything but then Sho turns his gaze and starts to drive away. The journey to his house is tense but Ohno doesn't feel too bad because Sho is there.

When they arrive later, Sho helps carry his things to his house and also helps dragging him gently. As soon as the door shut behind them, Sho pulls Ohno into his arms. Ohno hides his face on Sho's chest.

"It's finally happen, Sho," Ohno mutters but Sho just keep running his hand on Ohno's back.

"Cry," Sho says later and when he feels his chest wet with tears, Sho tightens his hug.

*

Nino waves at Sora as she waves at him, walking into her classroom before joining her friends. Nino looks at the group of children when he notices Daichi is already there. He sighs, mad at himself for waking up late this morning. He couldn't sleep well last night after all.

Nino returns to his car and drives to Jun's shop. He needs to give Jun his phone back. He wonders why Jun isn't waiting for him to get his phone back. Nino arrives at Jun's shop later and curses silently as his heart starts beating like crazy. He walks into the shop and is greets by Toma. Toma informs him that Jun is in his office.

Jun crumbles the paper in his hand as he is messing up with his design again. He throws the paper into the bin when there's a knock on his door.

"Come in," says Jun, rubbing his face when the door opens and he is startles to see Nino.

"Sorry, am I interrupting?"

"No, no. Take a seat," Jun straightens on his seat and collects himself.

Nino looks happy and Jun's brain immediately playing the image from last night again. The thought that Nino is together with Ohno now turns him to feel miserable again.

"Here, you forgot this," Nino smiles and hands him his phone.

"Thanks," Jun thinks that Nino's smile is so bright and he really look happy.

"It's not like you at all to forget things like this."

"Ah, you're right."

"Jun, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Nino eyes Jun but Jun just keeps staring on his desk and nods, answering Nino's question. Nino wonders what happened to Jun. It's not like the usual Jun.

"Jun, you can tell me if anything bothering you."

"I know, but it's nothing."

"Jun,"

"Nino, I'm fine!"

Jun startles by his own voice. He regrets it even more seeing Nino's hurt look.

"I'm sorry," Jun mutters and silently curses himself. He wants to say something better but he fails to find the words.

"It's okay. I'll be leaving now," Nino smiles but Jun hates that smile the most. It's the sad and fake smile that he swore to never put on Nino's face anymore. But it turns out that he is the one that putting it there. He tries to make it up to Nino but before he manages to do anything, Nino is already leaving.

"Damn it!" Jun curses and kicks his desk.

Jun regrets it. He regrets that he snaps to Nino when Nino just showing his concern. He even regret it that he is the one who took Nino's smile away. Nino came to his office smiling so bright but Jun made him left without it.

It makes Jun think that it's only proving that Jun isn't the one that can make Nino happy. It's the best for Nino to be with Ohno after all. Jun tries to be okay with. The most important thing is for Nino to be happy and even it's not Jun to be the source, Jun can live with it.

He can, right?

Jun tries to ignore how his brain mocking him and his heart telling him otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like I'm still torturing them, right... Sorry! Just a quick update because I will be very busy after this. Not sure when I can update again but I will try to find a time if I can. I feel bad for being such a bad author and updater. Thanks for still being with me :) See you again later!


	13. Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes! Mummy has come home!" Daichi smiles brightly and Nino feels like running away, far away.

Nino stares at his phone.

He takes a deep breath and then with a full determination, he dials Jun's number.

But before it starts ringing, Nino hangs up. He sighs at how coward he is. After their last encounter at Jun's office several days before, he hasn't see Jun at all. When he send Sora at the kindergarten, Daichi is already there or sometimes isn't there yet. The same goes when the time he fetch Sora from the kindergarten.

He really miss Jun.

Sometimes he feels just like going to Jun's store or even his house to just see him but Nino is afraid. He is afraid that he will be rejected by Jun again. He is afraid that he will make Jun angry again. It's okay if Jun doesn't love him back but thinking of Jun hating him is the worst thing ever that Nino can think of.

Maybe he isn't deserve happiness at all in his life. Or maybe this is the punishment for hurting Ohno and Natsumi. When he finally can admit the love he feels for Jun, Jun distance himself from Nino. When he feels ready to accept someone in his life again, that someone already leaves his life.

Nino drops the phone on the table before walks to his piano. He sits and then his fingers run on the keys, creating a painful melody. He lets the tears run down his cheeks.

This time, Jun isn't here to wipe it for him.

*

"Matsujun, are you okay?"

Jun snaps from his thoughts and turn to find Toma at the door of his office.

"I'm fine," Jun answers and motions Toma to enter the office with files that Jun need to take care of. Toma shakes his head knowingly looking at how sad Jun looking right now. He doesn't know what really happened but he can feel it that it must be something related with Nino.

"Just go to him, Matsujun," Toma says as Jun hands him the files back.

"Hm?" Jun looks at Toma.

"If you love him enough, if you can't live without him, just go steal him from whatever," says Toma and then quickly leaving before Jun can get mad at him.

Jun stares at Toma's retreating back and then wipes his tired face. As much as he want to get mad at Toma by saying that, he knows that is the truth. Jun knows he's the biggest coward ever and he wonders if he even has the right to claim that he is the man that love Nino the most. Because if it is the truth, he should be trying to keep Nino by his side now.

Jun really miss Nino. In fact, he never miss Nino so much like now. He really need to see the shorter man but every time he almost has an encounter with Nino, his gut died down and he back off. The same goes when he tried to call the man. Even before he manages to dial the number, he already dropped the phone back.

He is afraid. Afraid that Nino still angry with him after the incident at Jun's office before. He should be the one approaching Nino after that but the lack of communication from Nino side also leave him with the terrifying thoughts that Nino doesn't want to see him. Nino got Ohno after all. He doesn't need Jun anymore.

But if he follows Toma's advice and steal Nino from Ohno, will it work? Will Nino want to be steal? Will Nino want to stay with Jun?

Jun dismisses the thought before it grows in his head.

'Bad idea, Matsumoto,' Jun whispers to his self.

*

Nino waves at Sora as she runs to him after waving at Aiba sensei. Nino hugs his daughter as she jumps on him.

"Having fun today?" Nino asks Sora as they walk hand in hand to the car.

"No," Sora pouts and shakes her head.

"Why?"

"Dai- chan didn't come today."

"Oh. Why he didn't come? Nino helps Sora with her bag when she hops in the car.

"Aiba sensei said he got a fever."

"Oh," Nino smiles and pats Sora's head. Deep inside, he feels worried hearing the news.

"Papa, can we go to see Dai- chan?" Sora asks when Nino starts the engine and makes a turn at the intersection.

"I don't know, dear. I don't think so."

"Eh, why? It's been a while since I last see uncle J too," Sora pouts.

"Sorry, papa got a work after this," Nino apologizes truly. He really got a work after this but the terrifying feeling to see Jun is being the main reason.

"Papa, it's okay if it's just for a while."

Nino keeps quiet and focusing his attention on the road.

"Papa, pleaseeee..." Sora pleads and tugs at Nino's shirt slowly.

Nino turns to look at Sora with her puppy eyes. Nino sighs and then smiles at her.

"Okay, princess. Let's go see them," Nino says and Sora jumps on her seat.

"Yay! Thank you, papa!"

"Okay, but let's call uncle J first. He may be at work," Nino turns his car to the way of Jun's store. He parks the car several store away from Jun's and calls him.

"Hello, Jun?"

"Nino," Jun's gently voice greets him, making his heart turns chaos.

"Erm, are you free right now?"

"Actually, I'm not. Sorry," Jun's answer makes Nino's face turns gloomy.

"Oh, I see."

"Nino, I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, sorry for disturbing," Nino quickly shuts the call off before Jun manages to say anything. Nino takes a deep breath and try to cover his disappointment before turn to Sora.

"Looks like J have some work to do," Nino pats Sora's head and her pout appears.

"Come on, let's get you to grandma house, okay?"

"Okay," Sora nods reluctantly.

Nino turns to the road and drives past Jun's store. He stops then at the traffic light not far from Jun's store when he turns to look at the cafe on his right. His eyes widen at the sight of Jun sitting with a beautiful woman laughing and looking so happy at the small table outside of the cafe.

'I should have known better,' Nino whispers to his self, trying to restrain the tears that threaten to spill.

"Papa?"

Nino snaps and turns to his daughter. He then realizes the light is already turn to green and with the remaining energy, he drives away.

Away from the pain.

*

Jun stares at the phone after Nino hangs up on him. He feels really guilty and he's dying to see Nino but still he doesn't know if he can face seeing Nino but know he can't keep him.

'God, I'm so pathetic,' Jun mutters.

"Jun, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Who's that?" Mako asks carefully, afraid that Jun will get mad at her. Jun just shrugs before takes a sip of his coffee.

"Ah! I know!" Mako suddenly says and claps her hands.

"What?"

"It's Nino, right?" Mako teases Jun and wiggling her eyebrow.

"Shut up," Jun blushes and drinks his coffee again to avoid Mako's teasing.

"Why don't you just go to see him then?"

"Nope, bad idea," Jun shakes his head.

"Jun," Mako tries again but Jun stares at her, signalling the end of conversation. Mako sighs in defeat and shrugs.

"So, when is your flight back?" Jun asks.

"Tomorrow. Can I have Daichi tonight, please?" Mako tries to make a puppy face but Jun just laughs at her.

"Well, you can if he wants to."

"I will try," Mako says determinedly.

"Good luck then."

Mako sighs. She knows it isn't anyone fault if Daichi refuses to stay with her. She was a bad mother. She left her husband and her son. Looking back, she shouldn't just left like that. If she talk to Jun, she knows Jun will understand. She knows Jun will never love her but Jun is a good friend. And leaving because Jun will not love her doesn't mean Daichi is the one that need to bear the consequences.

She just coming back recently to Japan and contacting Jun and Daichi again. She was so afraid at first but Jun forgives her, and even blaming himself for Mako's leaving. Perhaps because her family has always been close to Jun's, she feels it easy to fit herself back into the family. She is happy that Jun still has the same attitude towards her even after what she's been doing.

Daichi still doesn't open up fully to her but he gradually warms up to her. Mako can't blame him though. Daichi grows without knowing his mother and suddenly she come. Mako is happy enough that Daichi is responding to her effort to make up to him. And Daichi is so much like his father, having an angelic heart.

Several months staying in Japan, she already knows a little bit of Nino and Sora. Well, she doesn't even need to do a digging, both Daichi and Jun always talk about them anyway. Mako is eager to see the father and daughter too but something happened recently to Nino and Sora and Mako didn't want to bother. She also has been flying out and to Japan these months anyway.

"Mako, let's go. Daichi waiting long enough at kaa- chan," Jun snaps Mako from her thoughts. Mako nods and they make their way together to Jun's mother house.

*

The next day, Nino can't concentrate on his works at all. He's been sighing, staring and just losing in his thoughts. Luckily he doesn't need to see anyone today, or else he will just angering them. The day went on with him doing nothing or miserably. He decided to just return home. When the time to fetch Sora, he back to being nervous as the thought of possibility to bump with Jun.

As he arrives, Sora is playing with Daichi. Nino quickly checking on his surrounding, afraid that Jun is there. Fortunately, he doesn't.

"Papa!" Sora jumps happily looking at him.

"Uncle Nino, I miss you!" Daichi suddenly jumps too and hugs Nino. Nino is startle as Daichi rarely being that pampers to him although they're close.

"I miss you too. How are you these days?" Nino asks Daichi as they pull apart later.

"Okay," Daichi nods cheerfully.

"I heard you got a fever yesterday," Nino puts his hand on Daichi's forehead.

"Yes, but I'm fine today! Daddy and Mummy bring me to the doctor," Daichi tells Nino happily but his words only leaves Nino in shock.

"Mummy?"

"Yes! Mummy has come home!" Daichi smiles brightly and Nino feels like running away, far away.

"That's good then," Nino manages to mumbles before grabs Sora's hand to leave.

"Bye bye Dai- chan!" Sora waves at Daichi as she follows her father.

"Bye!"

Nino walks weakly to his car with Sora tailing behind him. Sora hops on the car and Nino is opening his door when he hears Daichi's voice.

"Mummy!"

Nino turns towards the voice to find Daichi runs to a beautiful woman. It's the same woman with Jun yesterday. Nino freezes on his stand.

Luckily Jun isn't there. Luckily Daichi and his mother doesn't notice him there.

Otherwise they will notice Nino's tears running heavily on his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad news: I'm not done torturing Nino. Good news: This fic is nearing the end~Sorry for making Nino such a crybaby through this series. I love torturing Nino (in fic) and I love his crying face (in drama). I'm such a bad fan. But in reality, I want him to be happy :).


	14. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun isn't home.

Jun is in the middle of his work in the office when Ohno came. He doesn't knock, entering straight into the room and then grabs Jun by his collar.

"What the hell?" Jun says in shocks. His eyes meets Ohno's fierce eyes.

"What the hell yourself, Matsumoto," Ohno pushes Jun, making him falls back on the chair.

"Calm down first, Ohno, we can talk," Jun stands and tries to reason but Ohno lands a punch on his face. Jun manages to dodge in the last minute but still the punch lands on the side of his face. Still hurt. Ohno tries to attack him again but Sho comes at the right time and manages to restrain Ohno.

"What are you doing to Nino?" Ohno says. His glare never leave Jun.

"What?" Jun is startle by Ohno's question.

"He is hurting. More than before. What have you done to him," Ohno's voice lower this time and his glare softens.

"I, I don't understand," Jun stutters. Hearing Nino is hurt clenches his heart. But what Ohno means by that? He looks at Ohno firmly, looking for the answer.

"I thought you love him. I believe you're the right person to trust Nino with, but you don't love him, right? That's why he's hurting."

"No! I love him! I love him so much it's hurt! " Jun blurts, feeling his heart at ease a little after saying it out loud.

"Then, why don't you be with him already?"

"What do you mean? He's with you right?"

"No," Ohno says shortly. Jun's eyes widen in shock.

"I thought, I thought you're together with him," Jun manages to say.

"No. I confessed. But he rejected me," says Ohno. Jun is shock again.

"But, the kiss, I saw you're kissing him."

"Ah... that night?" Ohno says and chuckles, "If you stay long enough, you will saw how firm his hands pushing me away. You're so stupid Matsujun."

"I, I," Jun fails to find the word. Everything is so much to digest for him. Everything that he thought it was is different. He thought he's the most miserable person but he isn't. He thought Nino is happy but he isn't. Jun sits back on his chair. He wipes his face. Ohno comes to Jun and pats his shoulder.

"Nino's been moping around these days. He barely eat, he can't concentrate and yesterday, I caught him crying. He never tell me the reason, but I think I know why," Ohno says and Sho comes near him, providing the silent support.

"Ohno, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I don't know. I made my own conclusion, I'm sorry," Jun chants.

"It's not me that you should apologizes to. Please, go see him. Don't make me regret my decision to not pursuing him," Ohno says earnestly. Jun nods. He stands and hugs Ohno in gratitude.

"Make him happy, okay? And make yourself happy too," Ohno says as they pull apart.

"Thanks a lot, Ohno. You're the most amazing person."

"Sorry for the punch," Ohno apologizes truly and looks at Jun's face.

"It's okay. I deserved that," Jun chuckles.

Ohno smiles and signs to Sho that they're leaving. Sho nods and leaves first. Ohno is already at the door when Jun stops him.

"About the look that you said before," Jun says, referring to the first conversation they had about Nino. "I think Sho has 'the look' to you too."

Ohno laughs, "I know," he winks and waves before leaves.

"Be happy too!" Jun manages to shout before Ohno and Sho completely leaves the shop.

Jun takes a deep breath, tries to straighten his thought and mentally prepared himself. He needs to be prepared to properly face Nino.

He tries to be calm. But he fails to stop himself from running towards Nino.

*

Nino parks his car at the side road before leaves to walk to Sora's kindergarten. He wipes his face, trying to look happy in front of his daughter. Sora doesn't deserve seeing him moping around like a dead person. He enters the kindergarten and Aiba sensei greets him.

"How are you, Ninomiya- san?"

"I'm fine. How's Sora today?"

"She's been wonderful as always. Today, she managed to complete her report on the plant that they need to look after."

"Sounds great! Thanks a lot," Nino smiles and then Sora comes from the building.

"Papa!" Sora hugs him. Nino chuckles at how his daughter manages to be as cheerful everyday when seeing him fetch her at kindergarten.

"Let's go then," Nino pats her head.

"Wait! I want to say good bye to Dai- chan first," Sora says and then runs towards Daichi. Nino's heart clenches painfully to see Daichi with his mother.

Nino remains at his stand. Trying to hide from the woman who's now talking with Sora. Sora then runs back to him and grabs his hand.

"Papa, come," Sora drags him towards Daichi and the woman.

"Sora, I don't," Nino tries to refuse but Sora is nothing but stubborn right now. Before Nino manages to say anything anymore, he is already face to face with the woman.

"This is my papa!" Sora says cheerfully. The woman smiles and bows to Nino in which Nino manages to do the same.

"I'm Mako," the woman says later.

"Ninomiya Kazunari."

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

"I'm glad to finally able to see you Ninomiya- san. Jun and Daichi had been talking about you and Sora for so long already," says Mako.

"Ah, I'm glad to hear that."

"Actually, Ninomiya- san, are you free right now? Can we talk?"

Nino is dying to refuse but his voice fails him to say otherwise. Furthermore, he's a little bit curious about the thing that Mako want to talk about.

"Okay, I guess," Nino manages to say and Mako smiles. They walk to the nearby park and sit at the bench there. Nino feels even more curious and nervous.

"I'm sorry for taking your time, Ninomiya- san."

"It's okay."

"I'm not sure if Jun ever tell you but you know I left him and Daichi when Daichi was little," Mako says as she eyes at Daichi and Sora whose playing at the playground.

"He told me once about it," Nino admits.

" Our parents are friends with each other, so they think it's better to marry us to strengthen the bond," Mako starts.

"You know, Jun got this reputation of never date anyone back then. They also said that the one who managed to open his heart is like someone who managed to find a treasure. He's a good guy, really. And I think I determined to be the person who will open his heart. I'm dying to be the person he will love," Mako stops for a while. Nino is a bit startle. He thought Jun is the kind of person who always had a girl with him back then. Well, with his prince- like persona.

"But deep down, I know he will never love me. From the first time we met and when we got married, I know I will never hold a place inside of his heart. Deep down, I know why but I refuse to admit it, because he refuse to admit it too. So, I thought I might be wrong," Mako eyes Nino. Nino is wondering what it is the reason. He doesn't understand.

"He will never like girl, Ninomiya- san. Any girl at all. If you know what I mean," Mako chuckles, but Nino finds she never intends to make fun of Jun.

"He refuse to admit it because he was supposed to be a good child to his parents. He will never admit it because he was always a model student. Everyone expected him to be perfect and he need to burden all that while ignoring his own self. He was supposed to be a good husband, a good father, a good son and a good son in law."

"I used to think that Daichi was just a proof for him. A proof that he's a normal man, a normal husband. That's why I left him and Daichi," Mako voices sounds a bit sad now.

"But seeing how he raised Daichi to be a wonderful child, I think he loves Daichi more than anything in this world," Mako smiles.

"I thought so too," Nino assures her.

"Yes, he is. I don't think so right now. I understand everything right now. He was struggling with his own issues back then yet he still managed to be a good husband and a good father. I shouldn't left back then."

"But, part of me is glad that I left because I want him to be true to his self. I want him to be truly happy, to be free to love the one he wants to love," says Mako.

"And the one he love is you, Ninomiya- san," Mako looks at Nino and Nino is startles after he managed to digest Mako's word.

"I can see it in his eyes, Ninomiya- san. When he talks about you, when he talks about Sora- chan, his eyes light up. I never sees his eyes so full of live like that before. His eyes screams that you mean the world to him," Mako puts her hand lightly on Nino's. Nino fails to find any proper words and he feels like his eyes almost tears at Mako's word.

"I thought he will never find love. I thought he will never admit it. But seeing you today, I'm sure Jun will do anything to stay in love with you. It's selfish but I want you to be with him, Ninomiya- san, please. I never seen him looking so in love before."

"But, how about you? Dai- chan said you had been coming home," Nino manages to say, remembering the conversation he had with Daichi before.

"I think Daichi means that I'm coming home to Japan. I've been living in New York," Mako chuckles. "I think he knows that no matter what, his mummy will never be living in the same roof with him."

"Am I allowed to grab the dream of him living with his parents?" Nino hesitates, Daichi seems genuinely happy when he talked about his mummy back then.

"No, he will be even unhappy if his mummy and daddy fight everyday and never be in love with each other," Mako shakes her head.

"Furthermore," Mako adds and digs her handbags before hands Nino a card, "Here."

Nino takes the card and read it. His eyes widens at the content of the card.

"This is also another reason why I need to talk to you," says Mako. "Please, come Ninomiya- san. I want you and Sora at my wedding too," adds Mako.

"Daichi already know about this. And he understand," Mako adds again later, seeing Nino at loss.

"He's someone I really love and someone that love me back. I'm sure of it," Mako laughs happily and Nino find him to laugh too.

"I'm happy for you," Nino congratulates her.

"Please come with Sora, and make sure you are already together with Jun at that time," Mako teases and Nino blushes.

Mako and Daichi leaves later, with Mako saying that Daichi will stay with her tonight, as she will coming back to New York the day after.

Nino is glad that they had the talk. He is glad that everything seems clearer now. So, after he sends Sora to his mother's house, he can't find any reason to stop him from running towards Jun.

*

Nino's heart beats incredibly fast as he walks to Jun's office. When he enters the store, a worker greets him and he nods before saying that he wants to see Jun.

Nino takes a breath before knocking on the door. He waits before the door opens, almost making him feels like his heart will burst. But it turns into disappointment when he meets with Toma's smiling face.

"Nino- san," Toma greets him. Nino smiles back and peeks into the office to find Jun isn't there.

"Where's Jun?" Nino asks, unable to hide the eager in his voice.

"He's already left, saying he got work to do. He asks me to look after the store," explains Toma.

"Ah, I see."

"Do you need something? Can I help you?" Toma offers kindly. Nino shakes his head and smiles.

"It's okay, nothing important," Nino says and greets Toma before leaves the store.

Nino sighs as he walks back to his car. He enters the car and thinks for a while.

Should he waits here? Or should he calls Jun?

Nino grabs his phone and dials Jun's number. He sighs as he is greets by Jun's voice mail.

Perhaps this is the sign that he should just give up. Nino almost agree to his own idea before he shakes his head.

'No, I can't stop here,' he mutters before starts the car and drives towards Jun's house. Something in his mind tells that if he give up now, he will lose Jun forever.

Nino arrives at Jun's apartment later. He walks determinedly to the lobby. He buzzes the intercom, silently praying that Jun is home.

After several minutes later, Nino sighs in defeat. This is where he should just let it go.

Jun isn't home.


	15. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because he will always have Jun.

Sho glances at Ohno as he drives the car slowly. Ohno keeps his eyes at the view outside but Sho knows, there's tears on his face. Sho tries to say something to make sure that Ohno is fine but decides against it. He puts his hand on Ohno's instead.

Sho glad that Ohno doesn't flinches away. Sho lets his hand remains there as long as Ohno allows it.

"Sho- chan," Ohno calls after him later.

"Hm?"

"Thanks," Ohno turns his hand under Sho and intertwines their hands together. Sho is startles but remains calm through the drive.

"Are you okay?" Sho asks after a while.

"I'm okay," says Ohno, his eyes remain at the view outside, "But let me cry for the last time, and then I promise I will not cry anymore."

"It's okay, you can cry as much as you want," Sho tightens his hold on Ohno's hand before continues, "Because I will still be here no matter how long, because I will still be with you, forever."

Ohno's sobs turn harder later. But no matter how hurt his heart feels, Sho's hand remains warm, giving Ohno all the support and love that he needs.

And Ohno is sure that Sho will not be waiting too long.

*

Nino parks his car and then grabs his things. He decides to just go home after all the disappointment. He called the agency before, saying he will not coming back today. He also decided that he will go picks Sora from his mother's house this evening. Right now, he just needs to clear his mind.

He walks tiredly to the elevator and leans on the wall after pushing the button to his floor. Several times later, the elevator door opens and Nino walks through the hallway to his door.

Nino feels like his body drains from all the energy. Every feeling that he felt today sucks up all the remaining energy that he had. He keeps on walking in a slow pace and he keeps his head down. When he almost arrives in front of his door, he lifts his head. His steps stop.

"Nino," Jun greets him, standing in front of his door.

"Jun" Nino breaths out the name, unable to find his voice.

They keeps staring at each other for a moment before Nino manages to straighten his mind.

"Have you waiting long?" Nino asks and walks to the door.

"A while," Jun smiles and steps aside to let Nino open the door. Nino eyes him and know immediately that Jun had been waiting long.

"Why don't you call me?"

"My battery runs out," Jun flashes his cell phone to Nino. Nino chuckles and deep inside he feels relieves, remembering his phone call earlier.

"Come in," Nino invites Jun after he opens the door. They enters the house and Nino puts his things and turn to Jun.

"Do you want anything? Coffee? Juice?" Nino asks. Jun shakes his head, making Nino at loss what to do. Somehow, Jun's behaviour is different, making it's awkward for Nino. And the fact that Jun keeps staring at him making the situation even worse.

"I'll get you a juice," Nino says later, trying to run from Jun.

Nino only manages to walk two steps before he is stops by Jun's hand on his wrist. Nino is startle but after a while, he turns towards Jun.

"Jun, what's wrong?"

"Nino," Jun breaths out his name, making Nino's pulse speed up.

Nino's heart almost stops later when Jun pulls him into his arms. Nino's face meets with Jun's chest.

"Jun?"

"I miss you," Jun says and tightens his arms around Nino's waist. Nino can feels Jun's heart speeds up too. Nino can't find his voice, he puts his arms around Jun instead.

They stays in the same position for a while, trying to feel the other's presence after long time without. Then, Jun pulls them apart. Nino keeps his head down, hiding his red cheeks.

"Hey, I want to see you," Jun whispers as he puts his hand on Nino's chin and makes Nino look at him. Nino closes his eyes in response.

"Look at me please," Jun says and waits patiently for Nino.

Nino opens his eyes slowly and is meet with Jun's beautiful eyes.

"Jun, what happened to your face?" being closer now allows Nino to notice Jun's swollen face. The worry makes him forget his shyness. Nino cups Jun's face gently, trying to take a closer look at Jun.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Nino asks again, making Jun smiles in bliss.

"I'm okay. I need this you know," Jun is grateful. Without the punch, he will still in the misery of not able to go to Nino.

"Are you sure? Because it's look bad."

"Nino," Jun calls him, making Nino stops the words that he trying to say.

Jun takes Nino's hand from his face and holds it firmly.

"What? You need me to find the medicine?," Nino starts again, "Let me take it for you," Nino starts babbling again. Jun sighs and decides that it's better to talk later.

Jun pulls Nino to him and kiss him shut, making Nino freezes.

Jun pushes him apart later and puts his forehead on Nino, looking straight into the eyes that he's madly in love with.

"I love you," Jun whispers the words but to Nino, he hears it clearly, loud and firm. Nino closes his eyes in relieves, single tear runs down his cheek.

"Nino," says Jun, afraid that he's making a mistake. He almost pull apart later but then Nino puts his arms around Jun's neck and kiss him, full of confidence.

Jun manages a smile before kissing back, more passionate than before. Kissing Nino is amazing. Amazing than he ever thought, amazing than he ever dreamt. Kissing Nino is everything. Yet Jun finds it will never enough because he wants to kiss him forever.

Nino finds his cheeks wet even more as tears running down. He can feel the warmth, the affection, the passion and love. He feels like he finds all the answer that he's been searching all this while. Kissing Jun like this makes him realize that he loves Jun more than he thought.

*

Jun opens his eyes as the ray of sun escapes through the window in the room. He stretches his body and let a big yawn. He turns to the other side of the bed and finds it empty. He runs his hand on the other side to find it's cold. Nino has been awake long ago then.

Jun hears a faint sound then. The sound is calm, making Jun smiles. Jun gets up, leaving the bed and opens the door slowly. The view in front of him making his smile grows even wider and the happiness runs through his whole body.

Nino is playing the piano near the living room and there's two tiny body on his right and left. Both of them seems lost in the calming music too.

Jun enjoys the sight, trying to memorize every single bit of it inside him. His heart clenches in a good way, unable to decipher the feeling beyond happiness.

It's his family. His beautiful family.

"Daddy!" Sora turns later and runs to him, making Nino stops playing. Jun regrets the lost of the sound. He hugs Sora and kisses her head before both of them walk to the other two.

"Morning!" Nino greets him as Jun sits beside him with Sora on his lap. Nino's smiles is so bright, making Jun leans to him and kiss his thin lips.

"Jun!" Nino turns from him, his face red. Jun chuckles before leans again to kiss Daichi's head this time.

"Daddy, can you play a song too?" Daichi asks later, making Sora and Nino turns to him also.

"Okay," Jun agrees and then put his fingers on the keys. He plays random notes and the sound turns bad, making Nino laughs, follow by Sora and Daichi.

"Daddy, stop!" Sora teasingly ask Jun to stop before laughs again. Jun turns to her and tickles her.

"Daddy, noooo!" Sora tries to run from Jun but Jun continues to tickle her. Nino and Daichi just laugh, enjoying the simple happiness.

*

Nino walks through the hallway and stops in front of the door. He takes a breath before knocks on the heavy door. Sora's faint voice ask him to enter.

Nino opens the door and enters the room to find his beautiful daughter in front of the mirror.

"Papa," Sora breaths out, turning to him.

"You're gorgeous," Nino says and walks to his daughter.

"Papa, I'm nervous," Sora whines.

"Relax, you can't ruin your gown, it's daddy's after all," Nino pats Sora's shoulder before tries to fix Sora's crown on her head.

Nino continues to check on her daughter, feeling bless that he is here to witness the important day in his daughter's life.

"Papa?"

"Hm?"

"Papa, can I not get married today?"

"Why? Are you having second thought?"

Sora keeps quiet, her head down. Single tear runs through her cheek.

"Hey, baby, what's wrong?" Nino cups Sora's face and wipe the tear.

"I can't leave you, papa. After this we will not living together anymore, right?"

"I don't want to be separate from you too, dear. But I cannot be with you forever and you will not be with me forever too. You have your own live but papa will always be here. Papa will always be for you any time you need papa. It's not like we will not meet anymore after this, right?"

"But, papa-"

"You have met your love, Sora. I'm sure you will be with him forever, it's someone that you chose and I believe in you."

"But, are you going to be okay?"

"I will. I got daddy and Daichi. Although Daichi will get married someday too. But I will always have J, right?" Nino pats Sora's head, "And if Takeshi make you cry, I will teach him a lesson myself."

"I will too," Daichi says, grinning at the door with Jun behind him.

"Me too," adds Jun.

Sora looks at them and smiles happily.

"Thanks, you're all my hero," Sora grins and hugs his papa, later join by Jun and Daichi.

Sora gets out later with Daichi, getting prepared before the wedding start.

Jun walks to Nino and circles his arms around Nino's waist. Their face inch apart.

"I'm going to miss her, badly," says Nino.

"Me too."

"But I'm happy. I'm doing good as her father, right?"

"You did good, Kazu. You're amazing," Jun looks into Nino's eyes, trying to convey all his feeling.

"I did good because I got you."

"It's because I got you, too."

Jun lands his lips on Nino's then. Nino responses to the kiss almost immediately. Despite years kissing him, Jun can still feels the love get even deeper each time. Nino still means everything to him and Jun still trying to give Nino the best to make sure that he will always be happy.

"I love you, Jun," Nino says later after they pull apart.

"I love you too."

Later, when Nino walks with Sora besides him to bring her to her soul mate, Nino's eyes meet Jun. He knows that the happiness will remains in his life forever.

Because he will always have Jun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's the end. I'm sorry if the end isn't like you expected and sorry for the long wait too. My life been so busy and tiring, but despite the busy days, I'm still managed to think the idea for the next series, it will be school AU and of course matsumiya^^ i still couldn't get enough of them. Thanks a lot to you guys who still with this story despite all the lacks here and there. See you in the next series! :DDD


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